5 wonderful, little hidden details you probably didn't notice

There's a lot of stuff hidden in these games, but some of them aren't as regularly pointed out as others. Yeah, we all know Conker started out kid-friendly and that Stop 'n' Swop isn't as real as we hoped it would be. But there's some other stuff I noticed that make these games a little more than just games...

5. David "Bon Jovi" Wise

Donkey Kong Country Tropical Freeze is a wonderful game, and the soundtrack only makes it even better. David Wise's work goes from atmospheric to melodic to hardrock. Yes.
One such music pieces, entitled Punch Bowl, plays at the final battle of the second-to-last world. The polar bear boss is a threatening guy, but that's only because DK made him drop his popsicle.
The music sounds like something from Bon Jovi, might I add. David Wise has a tendency to subtly reference existing songs, and it's pretty rad, but this is the first time it's another band I really like from the get-go. The polar bear's name is Bashmaster the Unbreakable, and it just so happens that Bon Jovi has a song entitled Unbreakable.

Coincidence? Probably. But the last time we had a polar bear in the extended Rareniverse, he was named Boggy.

"Kids crying? Nah, I'm gonna sled. Priorities, man."

4. Kazooie! Meinem Schwester ist Verschwunden!

Banjo-Kazooie is notorious in having bad translations. The humour is so incredibly British, that any attempts to translate it to anything else fall flat. Since I'm almost trilingual, I can afford to play the games in English, Dutch, and German. Which would be kinda rad, if not for the decrease in quality...
In the German translation of Banjo-Kazooie, the jokes are mostly absent. Instead of the all-famous "How's your nuts, bark breath?", Kazooie says the much less suggestive "Warm, oder?" as in, it's warm. Yeah.

The German comics, however, did everything right. Kazooie totally says there that the house reminds her of the house in Psycho. And she makes a really good point, 'cause it does.

And let's not even mention the Dutch version of Banjo-Kazooie Nuts & Bolts. Let's skip over the fact that the translator had little to no knowledge of Banjo lore and that Kazooie is a pleemeeuw ("toilet gull") rather than a breegull, but Jolly Roger/Jolly Dodger, our favourite flamboyant frog, is referred to as Piet Piraat. Which translates to Pete the Pirate, but we already have a completely unrelated character with that name, courtesy of Studio 100 from Belgium. ...Oops.

Why I love Conker's Bad Fur Day

(I was gonna do this as a video, narrating it, as a subtle jab to another video I don't even deem worthy of watching -- but my dumb deep Dutch vocal chords don't allow me to do anything without sounding like a complete moron. Boo hiss.)

Conker's Bad Fur Day was my most favourite thing three years ago. The game was so dear to me because it was made by Rare - I'm betting that if Rare had no involvement, I never would've picked up the game in the first place.

Truth to be told, violent and/or questionable things couldn't interest me less at the time. I got into some anime about dogs killing each other... because it was about dogs. Similarly, I got into Conker because he wasn't some buff, muscular, middle-aged guy, but instead, a cute little squirrel.

Well, really, that's the catch; he looks cute and fuzzy, but in reality, he's got a severe drinking problem and ends up depressed.

The Donkey Kong theory

Sure, another theory. Except this one is one of my favourites.

So anyway. We all know the amazing Donkey Kong Country games and the... less-than-amazing Donkey Kong Country animated series. I loved the TV show a while back, around three or four years ago. But now, I'm re-watching it in amusing annotated form and now that I look back at it, I find it being less than impressive. Not because of the differences from the game, but rather because the characters sometimes get on my nerves. But this is not about that. This is about the theory that I imaginatively call 'The Donkey Kong Theory'.

The theory itself is as follows; The Donkey Kong Country TV show is a prequel to the games.

Why would I have such a bone-headed idea? Cranky would probably call me a big baboon (he calls everyone a big baboon) and I wouldn't blame him. Some things would make sense, though. For example, take Cranky, only because he's playable in Tropical Freeze (which is great) and also because he'll call me a big baboon if I don't tell about him first (which is not great.)

 

Honestly, Cranky's show design is quite faithful to his original design. The only thing that differs is his beard, which is shorter in the cartoon. Of course this is because back then, emulating hair with CGI was considered the most impossible thing that ever was impossible, but from a theory viewpoint, it would make sense -- it didn't have the time to grow to the length it is currently! As for his tendency to break the fourth wall in the games, we'll get to that later.

Assorted over-analyzations of the piñata kind (AKA headcanons)

Whoa, it's been ages since I've been here. This blog is my personal ranting space, as long as it's relevant to Donkey Kong or the surrounding games somehow. Where have I been? To the distant and the dangerous, thinking that I am a pathetic fool. Also, watching a lot of Viva Piñata, whining about the fact that I'm broke and there's so many cool things I want to buy, and chatting with my friends.
Oh, and wallowing in self-pity for some reason. Also drawing things and working on stuff I'm actually supposed to be working on, like homework. And my original story, which I'm certain I'm gonna publish someday. I hope, at least. As well as--... nah, that's a story for another time!

Well then, I have obviously neglected this blog for too long and will now attempt to make up for it by sharing some more of my far-fetched headcanons and theories that border on the weird and the whimsical and happen to concern Viva Piñata some way or another. When this is published, though, I have found out that my frantic obsessing over piñatas has quieted down a little. So this is probably the last post in a loooong while. Bear with me.

1. The Big Boss and LOG are one and the same.

Also pictured; Langston Lickatoad, who is awesome. He also basically makes both the Viva Piñata show and the games canon.

This might need some clarification, since both characters are rather recent.

3 characters crueler than K. Rool

We all know the Donkey Kong Country cartoon. If you have been following this blog for a while, I'm sure you do. And most people don't like it as much, but I am convinced it is as good as the games, just in a totally different way. To accentuate my point, I feel the need to point out I went out of my way to download the entire series to my PC for the sole reason of making shallow parodies of it.

Well then, all silliness aside, let's start this thing off.

In DK lore, there have been three true villains - namely King K. Rool (under different aliases), Ghastly King, and Tiki Tong.

K. Rool was just some asshole who decided to troll DK by stealing the banana hoard, Ghastly King was an evil monkey from SPACE that wanted to rule over the Fruit Kingdoms for no real reason and Tiki Tong stole the banana hoard to keep his race alive and possibly take over the world. Fair share of hindrances, right? It is nothing compared to the vast amount of baddies Mario fought in the past, but this is mostly to blame on the fact that Nintendo obviously favours Mario over Donkey Kong. Which is saddening, because they debuted in the same game.

Anyway, K. Rool and co. were typical antagonists, setting up the games' plot. But what about those other characters who had done unspeakable things people presumably forgot all about because they weren't the main villains?

(note that this article is meant to not be taken entirely seriously and is here for humorous purposes only.)

3. Bluster Kong

Bluster Kong is one of the show-only characters, and nearly everybody who doesn't appreciate the show blames their dislike of it on Bluster. I honestly don't blame them - while this specific Kong provides a lot of humorous scenes and dialogue and I don't mind him, he takes up a lot of space, having three episodes with him in the limelight.

"Don't blame me! That miserable Donkey Kong was already hogging the spotlight in the games!"

He's a pathetic mommy's boy, constantly whining about his mother and whenever he has to do manual labor, all hell breaks loose. Figuratively, of course. Bluster can't really... do anything. He's not strong, he can't jump high, and he certainly isn't a hell of a guy. He also has a grudge towards Donkey Kong, for the sole reason that DK is constantly hitting on Candy, the only adult female ape in the cartoon who isn't Bluster's mom or Great Aunt Grouchy. Bluster is not happy with this because he too has an eye on Candy, to the point where he gets a bit desperate in some episodes, like in A Thin Line Between Love and Ape, where he makes a love potion to make her love him.

Evil?

The episode Bad Hair Day, AKA the only episode most people know of, had him being introduced as another all-around jerk. Fair enough. But eventually, Donkey Kong loses his hair (and his muscles) and Cranky makes a potion to make it grow back. Candy and Bluster set out to find DK. Eventually, in the jungle, Bluster complains that "I can't walk anymore! My feet are sore, I've got sand in my shoes, and I'm thirsty!" leading to him snatching the potion from Candy. He empties the bottle on the ground.

Whose show is it anyway

And now, it's time for something completely different.

Sorry for not posting much here. School has been eating me alive. That, and I've found out about the Regular Show and for some reason this cartoon has captivated me. (I might or might not have a crush on Mordecai now and I have no clue why.) But do not worry, this doesn't mean BeJungle'd will turn into, uh... something centered around that. Although the show is awesome, trying to think of logic behind it is a lost cause. And I'll always love Donkey Kong Country.

I have been writing on this article for a few months now, so some thoughts might be outdated.

The Donkey Kong animated series (there I go again) isn't too well-received on the internet, for shame. Though I hear much people saying it isn't good, I personally find it quite clever, and much more fun to watch than most recent cartoons (sans the Regular Show, of course, which is clever. Other clever cartoons are Adventure Time and uh... more stuff.) Ahem. Moving on...

What would a Donkey Kong cartoon be like if I was in charge?

In no way an insult to Nelvana's work, by the way. They've done amazing work. I just wondered how it would be if I was allowed to write it.

Warning; we are now moving into highly unstable Loads and Loads of Characters territory. Approach with caution.

1. The Kong Clan

Primary main characters would be Donkey Kong, Diddy, and Dixie. These three are just what makes DKC to me.

Keep Diddy's personality from the show with a bit of added 'tough kid' attitude, make DK a bit tougher and make Dixie more cheeky, like a female equivalent of Diddy. I'm not certain about the voices, but I am certain that Andrew Sabiston should return as Diddy Kong 'cause I find his Diddy to be the best Diddy portrayal so far.

Watch out, Dix! I'mma pop ur bubblegum!

The secondary cast would consist of Kiddy (taking the role of Baby Kong), Tiny (in either her original design or the newer, I don't know. Maybe the original because I'm tired of seeing her recent design being portrayed as fetish fuel all the time.), Funky, and Cranky. Tertiary characters would be Candy, Swanky, Chunky, and Lanky.
Less about DK gushing over Candy and more interaction with his family. Add fluff. Lots of fluff.
Quartiary characters? Hell, Bluster can return too.

Not much to it. Let's move onto my personal favourites...

2. The Kremling Krew

Properly labelled as such this time, the Kremling Krew still consists of Klump and Krusha with K. Rool as the leader. Though this time they're accompanied by Kalypso, the fair lady lizard with the awesome pink hairdo and Kludge, that big, hulking blue dude that apparently has the mindset of a small child (even moreso than Krusha). Sometimes Kritters, Kip and Kass, Kopter, and some others tag along as well. Kruncha is Krusha's slightly flamboyant cousin, and Krusha may or may not undergo a name change thanks to copyrights. For the sake of simplicity I will just refer to him as Krusha.

K'Rool's gang of evul dudes (and two dudettes) continue to wreak havoc on DK Isle for no reason. Well, except to steal the Crystal Coconut. Again? Yup. And the banana hoard. But here's the catch; they want the coconut 'cause it's the only thing that can tell the true location of the bananas, which are much-renowned golden bananas! Heh. I'm a friggin' genius. /brag

Kremlings - the definitive classification

One of my headcanons dictate that Kremlings are actually mammals that happen to look like reptiles.

Well... mostly.

Obviously, they're meant to be reptiles. But I'm a nerd and I think these things through too much. I mean, c'mon. I have a lot of theories to make sense of it. SO here goes nothing.

There will be talk of mammaries in this article.

1. They're actually warm-blooded.

A lot of kritters and maybe a single krusha hop/strut around in the icy peaks of Gorilla Glacier, in the first game. The second game had krunchas walking about merrily in K. Rool's own personal ice storage. And let's not forget the skiddas around the K3! A reptile wouldn't last in those icy areas for more than an hour.

Not to mention they run around for little reason nearly all the time. Real crocodiles lay about in the sun all day, only moving to eat or mate, being dependent on warmth to survive. Kremlings usually also spend time playing video games and running after crystal coconuts, among other frivolous pastimes.

That, and King K. Rool clearly blushes in shame, in the episode Just Kidding.

Resources

We all know Donkey Kong and Diddy Kong wear clothes. Same for the Kremlings. And Banjo-Kazooie and Conker are even more blatantly clothing-wearing than DK and pals, so there you go. They also use a lot of items made of wood, steel, even rock, possibly taking after the citizens from the Mushroom Kingdom that attempted colonizing their isles all those years ago.

Now you might wonder; why the hell is this a blog post? Well, here you go; where do they get their resources?

I mentioned power sources not too long ago, but I mean, stuff like DK's television and K. Rool's PC didn't just fall out of thin air, now did they?

But the resources they have... where do they go?

I am presuming the Isle o' Hags, as large as it is, has some specialists whom buy the resources in bulk and in turn make objects of it.

Resource 1; Wood

Wood is abundant and necessarily for life nearly everywhere. Chop down a tree and you can make stuff with it. DK Isle abounds in wood, obviously, but it's mostly tropical. No, the real deal is the Northern Kremisphere.

A mainly forested region, abundant in large, stately, ominous redwood trees. (sequoias?) Most notable in the Kremwood Forest. The little isle in its centre provides a place for the Mekanos factories. They, presumably Kremlings, chop down the trees for use as fuel, building material, and suchlike, if the level Ripsaw Rage is of any significance.
So, they ship the wood to the Isle o' Hags where it gets changed into useful appliances. The Kremlings have a cutting-edge scale of technology for some reason with large airships... which brings us to our next subject;

When Vangelis met DK (part 1)

Donkey Kong Country 2: Diddy's Kong Quest's musical piece In a Snow-Bound Land has been one of my most favourite tracks in the game for a long time. But I searched it up on YouTube, and what did some people say?
"Rip-off of Vangelis's Antarctica!"

I, being naturally curious, went to search for this Vangelis dude and his music. Finding the piece they were referring to, I discovered something.
It almost sounded exactly like the DKC track. Listening to more musical pieces by this man, I became a fan of the atmospheric tunes he had created. Some of it just sounds so unmistakably Donkey Kong-esque! And mr. Vangelis, and David Wise, too if you happen to be reading this... that's a good thing.

But really, it just can't be a coincidence!

The things that differ from the show and games and WHY

First off, I kinda lost track. Sorry about that. I found out about Tumblr and I have been posting there more often than here. Sincerely sorry. Find me here; click! I will always use this blog for my long-winded ramblings, do not worry!

You won't believe how many times I hear people yelling; "The show sucks! It's nothing like the games!" And that makes me a little sad, to be honest. Nelvana still did their best and I can see how much attention to detail they paid. The DKC TV show, while by no means perfect, is still enjoyable and the few things that were changed, were changed with reason.

1. K. Rool's cape and tail

In the show, the King himself lacks a tail and has an extremely short cape that bears resemblance to a tiny napkin.

Why is this?

As you can see with Klump here, his tail's as stiff as a plank. This was because back then, it was virtually impossible to animate tails, apparently. Because Klump doesn't lay down very often, it's not that bad. But K. Rool jumps and scurries all over the place, and all his expressive mannerisms and movements would certainly clash with a un-moving tail. For this same reason, Diddy Kong didn't have a moving tail until season 2. Why didn't the others get moving tails too, I hears ya ask? Monkey tails are much easier to animate than fat crocodile tails.

As for his cape, it was impossible to animate flowing cloth or hair back in 1998. That's why it's so crazily short, too.

Take a look at Death

...And no, not at Gregg. Only if you feel like getting cussed at.

Have we ever realized how many characters die in Rare's games? Not just "game over", but just plain die, never to return, with sometimes irreversible results? Few games have the guts to actually show it, but like usual, there's always exceptions.

Conker's Bad Fur Day
Characters die by the dozen here, but we never really care, do we? Well, I know I didn't. When Conker died, he got confronted with a pint-sized Grim Reaper called Gregg who possessed a colourful vocabulary, who claimed Conker's got as many lives as he thought he'd get away with, to which the squirrel usually ended up unharmed.

Death wasn't really taken seriously in this game. I just laughed at those poor Uga Buga cavemen who were to be devoured by some deranged Yoshi-clone with sharp teeth. But near the end, I couldn't help but weep. Why? Berri, of course. Conker's girlfriend, ruthlessly killed by a mob boss's gun. As she lay on the ground, Conker tried to wake her up, but it was too late.

Later on, the airlock opened (they were in space or something) and she got sucked out into the endless abyss of space. So to this day her lifeless body is floating around in space. I wonder how Mario will react if he sees her on his space adventures like in Super Mario Galaxy.

Species and stuff

Have you ever wondered what species the animals in Donkey Kong Country were? Wonder no more!

1) Squawks.

Squawks looks like a parrot, acts like a parrot, and moves like a parrot. Yet, his species is more closely related to the common breegull than the parrot. Because the species began to move and act like a parrot, it became a parrot. Looks-like, at least. It's comparable to the way how marsupials look a lot like other mammals because they share the same lifestyle. Tasmanian Devil=Wolverine, Thylacine=Wolf, you get the point. But why is Squawks's species closely related to the Breegulls? The answer lies in its odd way of protecting itself - spitting eggs. Females have insanely quick-working ovaries and screwed-up innards, which means that they can use their unfertilized eggs as projectiles. Quite glaringly similar to a Breegull.

It's more than that, though. Detailed studies revealed oddly similar wing-shapes.

The two species share a similar skeletal structures as well, but this is not able to be seen with the naked eye. That's where the similarity ends, though.

On the Origin of Kremlings

As a Donkey Kong Country fan, I've always been intrigued by the Kremlings. As a little kid who just got a Super Nintendo Entertainment System, I found myself loving the villainous crocodiles more than the monkeys I played as, my fondness for dinosaurs and reptiles probably to blame. And then Donkey Kong 64 and the TV show came along and the fondness only grew. I vaguely remember that as a little kid, during various games at school with my classmates, I used to pretend I was a Kremling. I bet none of them would know what I was talking about... well, they didn't, even if I had someone be that poor Kritter who was dangling off one of the Blast-O-Matic's constructions, yelling "Help! Help!" repeatedly. Heh.... moving on, in the last decade, it had been a rather bleak time for a DK fan such as me, for there were very little games released, apart from a few ports and games that would've suited better as platformers. However, where Nintendo threw out the whole original cast sans DK himself, the Japanese company Paon paid much more respect for the franchise and its characters. In one of their outings, Donkey Kong Barrel Blast/Jet Race, they brought back the whole DK crew, save for Chunky, Kiddy, and Swanky. (And Bluster as well, but he's a jerk and not canon to the games.) Even the not-usually remembered Lanky. In the Kremling roster, some new characters appeared, but even then, they brought back some old characters.

While I do applaud the fact they included a Kopter (a rather unfamiliar Kritter grunt from Donkey Kong Country 3: Dixie Kong's Double Trouble!) and even Klump as a single character as opposed to a mere mook to the roster, I still weep for the fact that Krusha was nowhere to be found... and yet again, another big, bulky Kremling took his place.

As of now I'll be calling Krunchas Little Red Ragin' Hood.

However, I don't really mind now, as in Returns, there's no Kremlings in sight at ALL. However, in Jet Race/Barrel Blast, the new characters look pretty awesome and it's the first time ever that female Kremlings actually appeared in the game.

However, I'm going terribly off-topic. Allow me to ramble and pretend I'm a biologist or something. This doesn't concern Klaptraps, though. More about them later.

Krusha - Just Plain Stupid or Secretly Evil Genius?

So, let's talk about the TV show... again. And let's talk about Krusha.

He's basically a Dumb Muscle taken To The Extreme, and, for some reason, one of my favorite characters. (In fact, I like him enough to have named my Pokémon Feraligatr after him in my Soul Silver game. Heh!) He works for King K. Rool, but I think he'd happily go over to the good side if K. Rool wasn't there. He's the kind of bad guy that's bad at being bad and has the demeanor of a five-year-old. While I never quite get how characters like that manage to have so many muscles, I have been thinking - is he really that stupid? Or is all a ploy to drive his king and possibly General Klump too, insane?

Alright, I'm gonna go offtopic for a minute, please excuse me. Even though it is somewhat relevant. Say, I am a regular reader of Jeff Smith's Bone graphic novels. In it is a character called Smiley Bone. He acts like a total goof, especially in the earlier issues, but later on, he actually shows some brains, and apparently, his stupid behavior earlier on was just to annoy his cousins and get them to squabble. Not to mention Fone Bone took Smiley along with him for the sole reason to annoy Phoney Bone. Yes. Smiley Bone just PRETENDS he's stupid, only for the sake of annoying his friends.

So, with that... what if Krusha is like that too?

I mean, just look at him. Look at that guy.

Meh, should've drawn him more... shall we say, more like he actually is?

Klump: *overhearing Donkey Kong practising proposals* "Did you hear that? Will you marry me!"
Krusha: "Me?"
Klump: "No, ya nincompoop! Donkey Kong!"
Krusha: "You wanna marry Donkey Kong?"
Klump: ... :|


*later at K. Rool's*


K. Rool: "So, who did you say was gonna get married?"
Krusha: "Me and Klump."
Klump: "Never mind him, sir..."


--from the episode "Two Weddings and a funeral Coconut


The seriousness of this exchange depends on your earth. The world of slash fan fiction could be rejoicing as we speak, even though I don't think highly of those two in a romantic relationship. I see 'em more as brothers. But I'm rambling. Moving on...

Apparantly, there is an episode, called Speed, where Krusha gets driven over by a mine cart (ouch, poor dude) and suddenly gets smarter while that happens. While I haven't seen the episode in question because people not uploading it on YouTube and am highly annoyed by that, it does show that he's capable of much more. In Kong for a Day, he has also been shown to be able to perfectly imitate other isle inhabitants' voices. Someone who's capable of doing something like that is most definitely not stupid. Even though in another episode...  From Zero to Hero I believe, through an X-ray it was shown his brain was in his... er-hum. Never mind that. After that happened, the X-ray machine went kaput and Krusha made off with that Crystal Coconut while Cranky wasn't looking. Was it all a ploy? It could've been.

Still doesn't explain his fondness for watching children's shows, though.

Alas, I am possibly all wrong and the only instance of a smart Krusha is Krusha who has been driven over by a mine cart in an episode I have never seen, nor possibly will ever see. Too bad! I do, however, think that he could even stand up against K. Rool when he has enough of that overlord's evil, long-winded speeches if he wants to... One of these days, he'll snap. One "lunkhead" and "despicable non-person" too many and the king is dead. I mean.. You wouldn't want to mess with someone like Krusha. I mean, he's almost twice the size of his king. That's why K. Rool works alone these days - he's frightened by the fact that he believes his loyal henchmen were rebelling against him. That does however conflict with my fanon-ridden back-story for them. I'll tell more about that whenever. I promise.

I guess it depends on if you like the character and if you like thinking it through too much like me. However, I'll still see the guy as a somewhat dimwitted dude... even though he's the coolest. I mean, someone who can call a Kong-Fu Master a "girly ape" is just too awesome.

Say, 'til next update, see ya, Banana Slamma and all that jazz. I'm off on my never-ending quest to find the missing episodes. For now, I bid you adieu.