Sunday, 18 September 2011


We all know Donkey Kong and Diddy Kong wear clothes. Same for the Kremlings. And Banjo-Kazooie and Conker are even more blatantly clothing-wearing than DK and pals, so there you go. They also use a lot of items made of wood, steel, even rock, possibly taking after the citizens from the Mushroom Kingdom that attempted colonizing their isles all those years ago.

Now you might wonder; why the hell is this a blog post? Well, here you go; where do they get their resources?

I mentioned power sources not too long ago, but I mean, stuff like DK's television and K. Rool's PC didn't just fall out of thin air, now did they?

But the resources they have... where do they go?

I am presuming the Isle o' Hags, as large as it is, has some specialists whom buy the resources in bulk and in turn make objects of it.

Resource 1; Wood

Wood is abundant and necessarily for life nearly everywhere. Chop down a tree and you can make stuff with it. DK Isle abounds in wood, obviously, but it's mostly tropical. No, the real deal is the Northern Kremisphere.

A mainly forested region, abundant in large, stately, ominous redwood trees. (sequoias?) Most notable in the Kremwood Forest. The little isle in its centre provides a place for the Mekanos factories. They, presumably Kremlings, chop down the trees for use as fuel, building material, and suchlike, if the level Ripsaw Rage is of any significance.
So, they ship the wood to the Isle o' Hags where it gets changed into useful appliances. The Kremlings have a cutting-edge scale of technology for some reason with large airships... which brings us to our next subject;

Resource 2; Metal

I am obviously referring to the element, not the music genre. Though some dedicated fans made some impressive metal remixes from DKC songs, but that is notwithstanding. Metal is a substance that is mostly known for being hard and cold. (My science skills are fairly bad, I'm obviously better at languages and biology, so bear with me!)

My idea is that Crocodile Isle is abundant in metal. The mines led me to believe that.

So King K. Rool probably had Kremlings slaving away, hacking restlessly in the isle's soft dirt, for jewels and other valuable objects to make him feel better about himself. Though I'm sure he also established a stock exchange with neighbouring isles in metal they came across for some extra money. Not just that, though - those weapons have to come from somewhere!

And he'd probably sell some gold he could miss as well. They had also established some mines on DK Isle, but Donkey Kong and Diddy Kong did not appeared to have notice these until the banana hoard got stolen. Cranky, however, back in his day as DK senior...

After Crocodile Isle sunk, some moles took over DK Isle's mines that were formerly also the Kremlings'. I presume DK Isle is rich in precious metals and has soft ground, else they would never do that!

Resource 3; Cotton

Cotton is an useful resource, and is what clothes are often made of.
The whole Kong family wears clothes...

Most of the Kremling Korps (Krew?) (aside from Klaptraps... and Kabooms... and other barrel-dwellers) does so (albeit partially)...

Banjo and pals (aside from Kazooie for some reason) also don't like going around naked...

and Conker wears his fashionable vest, gloves, pants (L&R only), and shoes at all times.

Even though they don't really need them because of their fur (and Kremling anatomy being so incredibly different from humans'), they probably think it's cool.

But where did they get all that?

There has never been any evidence of cotton plantations in the Rare Isle Chain... but I presume they must be there somewhere. Perhaps near the more warmer parts of the Northern Kremisphere? Who knows?

Judging the sliding scale of wearing clothing in the Isle Chain, I think there's four regions;

1. Urban. Nearly fully clothed, in the more... sophisticated parts of the Isle Chain. Sophisticated here does not necessarily mean a good thing. Windy and other areas in Conker's Bad Fur Day/Live and Reloaded are examples.
2. Less Urban. Yeah, sorry for the title. But it's the closest thing I could think of. These folks wear clothes, but not everywhere on their body. Showdown Town, Willow Woods, and the later Kremling Empire are examples.
3. Not Quite. Varying amount of clothes - some wear sophisticated things such as capes or accesoires, but most often... just that, or if they're higher above the others they can wear more than that. Example is the Northern Kremisphere and the former Crocodile Isle.
4. Livin' in the Sticks. These don't really care about clothes, nor do most of them wear a lot of it, but if they do, they almost never change it, due to poor connections with other islands and lack of material. Examples are DK Isle and Timber's Isle.

gee that made such little sense

Oh, and plush toys are made just like that as well - after Donkey Kong's heroic deeds, some parrots kept chattering it around, and so, DK dolls were made. One of Bottles' kids can be seen playing with one, and an alien that had crashlanded had a little stuffed Jinjo.

I want a cuddly Jinjo too. :c

Resource 4; Paper

Paper. Oh, do I know what paper is, being an aspiring artist!... this is kind of cheating because paper is made from the earlier-mentioned wood. Not just wood, but from the earlier-mentioned clothing as well. But it has different enough of a function to be considered something else entirely.

I already mentioned where the wood came from, but hey - K. Rool's Dinosaur Planet collection*, the newspapers in Showdown Town and Conker's dirty magazines don't come from nowhere! They come from a few factories in the Isle o' Hags, if you're believing me.

* K. Rool's Dinosaur Planet obsession is pure fantalk, however.

Which brings us to...

Resource 5; Polymer

Polymer is what plastic and rubber gets made of. It's the number one source of pollution in the world, anyhow! I think... at least...

K. Rool's high-tech ships, his factories, and then some, probably use some plastics and rubbers. And what about those action figures? Among more things? Face it - plastic is everywhere you look. Except in the sticks, maybe.


This is the hardest to explain seeing as polymer is synthetic... so I'll have to leave it here.

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