My ultimate top fifteen of DKC music

I figured I'd post one of these since every cool kid does so nowadays. Donkey Kong Country has, in my mind, always stuck out as one of the games of which the soundtrack really enhances the experience. There is something about those beautiful, heartfelt tracks that strike my heart.
I'll be discussing Donkey Kong Country, Donkey Kong Country 2: Diddy's Kong Quest, Donkey Kong Country 3: Dixie Kong's Double Trouble!, Donkey Kong 64, and Donkey Kong Country Returns (not counting remixes.). Other Rare soundtracks will be discussed later on. For anyone that hasn't played Returns yet, this post will contain spoilers!

15. Northern Hemispheres (DKC)

What appears to be an extremely minimalistic track, it builds its suspense up the farther it goes - and it does so with style. It really fits the barren, snowed-in wastelands of Gorilla Glacier, capturing the wintry feel of icy mountains without sounding overly cheerful. And you have to play the game to believe this, but the snow falling down is an amazing effect that really adds to the experience. This track made its triumphant return in Donkey Kong Country Returns. Even though the snow has seemingly melted away, the track also seems to work perfectly for barren mountainsides.

14. Donkey Kong Rescued (DKC2)

Ah, the credits theme! Should be remembered by anyone who triumphed over the game before. This amazing track is really powerful yet bittersweet, and really tells you that you've brought an amazing journey to an end. It begins with a characteristic squeaking of which I'm not sure what it's from, to some awesome percussion and a simply breathtaking trumpet solo, and ending it with the most awesome electric guitar... esque instrument I've ever heard. This is one of the many tracks in the series that really makes you believe, or want to believe, that Donkey Kong, Diddy Kong, Dixie Kong and all those other characters are real.

Comic 3 - Kids will be kids

Meh, more of a cop out than anything. I didn't have any good ideas.

But Diddy and Dixie are cute, right?

King K. Rool and bananas, oh my!

As all of you fellow DKC-addicts may know, the first game was basically about Donkey Kong trying to retrieve his famed banana hoard from a thieving King K. Rool. Why did he steal the bananas, is what has been bothering me lately, and why does he suddenly hate them by the time I played DK: Jungle Climber? Well, about the stealing, Rare themselves claim that it was either because he likes bananas, or that he wanted to starve DK so he could occupy his treehouse.

That's one sorry reason if I ever saw one. It would work for the DKCTV's version of the King, given his bumbling behavior in that, but in the games, I don't know. There just has to be some reason behind it.

So, having played Donkey Kong Country Returns (spoilers will follow)...

Yeah, I know you're not in the game. Shut up.

Like I said, having played Donkey Kong Country Returns, the ape's hoard of prized bananas doesn't get stolen by King K. Rool this time, but by a bunch of thieving, sentient instruments known as the Tiki Tak Tribe. These dudes hypnotize DK Isle's wildlife, to which the critters take off with the bananas. Diddy flips and gives chase, and DK fails to get hypnotized because he's either too smart or too dumb. I'll take either explanation, to be honest.

Weekly comic: 2 - filler doodles

Terribly sorry, I forgot to think up, scan, no less draw, a comic this week. So here's a DK-doodle-page. Yeah. I like Diddy and Dixie, if you didn't know that by now. Still can't draw them though and that infuriates me.

Weekly comic: DK64+DKCTV=???

Yeah, I never quite got why the Crystal Coconut went from a Holy Grail to a collectable item.

Fan fiction - Return to Crocodile Island

Return to Crocodile Isle, is, to those who don't watch me on DeviantART - a tale I wrote about Diddy Kong and Dixie Kong who journey to the resurrected Crocodile Island to take down K. Rool who kidnapped DK... again. I finished it yesterday when my internet was down... yeah. I did have a good excuse to rant on fan fiction clichés through Cranky, though.

‘What’s that? Oh, leave me alone. I’m old, I need my rest. How did your silly little fan story-quest go, anyway? I wouldn’t like to be seen dead in a story that has fan characters and fellow apes being out-of-character, but whatever...’


Diddy and Dixie, on their way, meet strange enemies and make unusual allies, one in the form of Reaver, a female Harpy eagle that works for K. Rool but is rebelling against him.

Mind you, I don't usually create fan characters, but this idea was too good to pass up.

She began life as a throwaway Animal Buddy idea after I read about how Harpies could lift monkeys, so she'd made a nice equivalent for Squawks, which I presumed has gotten older since his first game. But eventually I grew on her premise and design, so she was mostly the reason I wrote this story. One of the others reasons were zombie pirate Kremlings.

Some early sketches of the zombies. They're pretty creepy... but remove the boney parts and give 'em pupils and they're funny.

Where I rant

Well, yeah. I rant a lot, as it should be known. But first, some horribly misplaced praise.

So, a few days ago, I was merrily looking across YouTube to see if I could find some stuff which I liked... it has to be said I found a few amusing YouTube Poops of the Donkey Kong Country cartoon. While these parodies were mildly amusing, I decided looking up the source material for a change.

Here's a link to the intro. Can somebody tell me how do I shot web embed videos in my blogs?

Boy, I would never have thought that I'd enjoy such silly, primitive CGI. Me, an animation connoisseur - actually watched this series that many people deemed bad? Oh my goodness! Well, it was not as bad as the DKvine made me believe. Sure, the animation was primitive - prehistoric, even, I believe it was made a few years after Toy Story - the first completely computer-rendered feature film - but it worked well enough. Visual gags abounded - most in the form of DK's wildly random expressions. Even the highly unnerving musical numbers each episode didn't put me off, and strangely enough, I enjoyed the voices.
Hey, if it got Diddy and Dixie making out*, it can't possibly be bad now, can it?

Even though Diddy looks like a duck at times, he's coolio. Rather than being a stuck-up braggart like in Diddy's Kong Quest, he's a Bratty Half-Pint and also The Lancer. (that's me quoting TV tropes) Not to mention his voice is actually fitting? This is madness! Oh and he calls Dixie 'my girl' once. Pfffhaha, that made me both crack up and melt down in a puddle of fangirlness. (yeah, I'm a big time shipper of those two together, okay?) I've officially considered him to be my favourite character in the TV series. Yeah, Dixie is in it too, even though her design is more reminiscent of Tiny's. And she's more of a girly-girl than anything, and often loses her pets. Such as a crab named Crappy Crabby. How... somewhat bothersome... Oh well, at least she's in anyway!

DK himself... well, I've seen better renditions of him over at DeviantART, but it's not too bad. Candy, er... don't know what to say about her. Why couldn't they have just kept her a girly girl and have Dixie be the tomboy, hmmm? Still, not very bothersome. Even the character of Bluster whose only appearance so far is in the series, I could tolerate - his constant whining about his mother is funny. Funky could be better. Cranky is exactly like in the games. His voice is just perfect. Some of the other show-only characters like Polly Roger, Captain Scurvy and his gang, and InkaDinka Doo, I could live without, though. But still, those faces that the Kongs pull make me laugh out loud... louder than I'm supposed to.

Derp herp a derp.

But in my opinion, the one that steals the show is King K. Rool. (Koning Wreed for you Dutch peops)

Can it has be crystal coconutz tiem now plz?

'WHYYY NOOOOOOOT!'

it's one of the most popular sayings of him - I do believe it even became a meme. He yelled it out in the episode Bug a Boogie (which I have not seen yet, bear with me). I do believe it explains his personality perfectly. He's quite a large ham (there I go quoting TV tropes again), what with his constant monologues about wanting to steal the Crystal Coconut, the series' MacGuffin. (I am so sorry. TV tropes will ruin your life. It's true.) Even though he, for some reason, lacks a tail, and his cape has been replaced by something that looks akin to a towel. That was probably because back then it was really hard to animate fluttering capes, so yeah...

His two henchmen, Klump and Krusha, are two delightfully silly bad guys that are quite humorous at all times. So this trio of bad guys? They're a bunch of simpletons compared to their alter-egos in the games... but that makes them all the funnier. I even saw the episode Kong for a Day, where Krusha imitated DK's voice... that was both hilarious and disturbing, because it led Dixie to believe that DK was wanting to make out with her. Eeeew... not to mention everyone flipped unjustly towards DK. In the end all was well, though! Yay happy ending!

The name's Bond... Klump Bond. Dude, what?

The only resemblance to the games the series had is, sad as it may seem, the characters, bananas, and more bananas. Some level themes too, like snow, forests, mine carts, etc. Small references to some characters' game behavior has been hidden in though, much to my pleasure - for example, a pissed off Diddy Kong throws a bitchfest by throwing his hat on the floor and stamping on it. Where did I see that before again...?

All in all, it's definitely not the best thing ever... but it's so enjoyable to watch! If you can see past the rather poor animation (back then it was marvelous, lemme tell ya) and the sometimes VERY annoying musical numbers (between you and me - Diddy cannot sing... But! He! Can! Dance~!), the dialogue, the surprisingly good voice acting, and more randomness totally makes up for it.

Oh, and for the ranting: I get really pissed whenever I look around on eBay and see people addressing Diddy as 'Baby Donkey Kong' and 'Donkey Kong Junior'.

Okay? Okay. Alas, I'm off, gonna see Bug a Boogie. Lol Bananaphone. See ya!

* note: 'making out', my foot. All that happened from what I've seen is Diddy trying to kiss her. Only to be interrupted by Cranky. Or rather, a vision of the old fop. So yeah. No DiddyxDixie for me. Baaaw.

In the future

We all know and love DK, Conker, Banjo, etc, etc... but I've been thinking lately - how would they look and act like ten years from now? Conker as a family-guy in a midlife crisis, Diddy and Dixie happily engaged, Banjo and Kazooie having kids - wait, let's not go there.

Considering what Conker did to Bloopy, the young raptor that he had hatched back in Bad Fur Day - the poor fella even called him mommy... and if my ears don't deceive me, I do believe he said something that sounded like 'Luigi' too. It's mama Luigi all over again... 'cept with Conker.. but anyway, so I can't see him as a mom. Er, dad. And Berri spends most of her days jumping around listening to music and being a porn star. Can't see her as a suitable mother either.

Conker would be such a bad poppa. (not to mention his and Berri's child would look freakish.)

Like I said, Conker and Berri would be two bad parents if I ever saw them. But for some reason or another, them somehow getting a kid is likely. Well, you know Conker likes getting drunk, right? And he's a king, right? So, one faithful night, he was drunk, forgot using protection while he and Berri were, ahem, having fun (let's pretend he brought her back after a talk with Gregg after Bad Fur Day), thus he knocked Berri up, if you catch my drift. She doesn't believe in abortion, and a chipmunksquirrelkid is born. Poor kid would never know it was an accident. Likewise, it's the heir to the throne, and the red squirrel bloodline is kept up. Moving on...