Where is the LOVE?

Love is a word with a lot of different meanings. Alas, that should be known - but nowadays, most people seem to think it's just a synonym for wanting to screw each other. For shame! As it should be noted, I am a sucker for romance... and let's say most Rare games have a lot of it. However, let's start with the usual.... lovey-dovey romance stuff.

Alright, first things first, we'll start with Conker. Conker and Berri are officially and canonically boyfriend and girlfriend. However, we never really saw 'em actually being kind to each other.... save for a throwaway line by Conker that was mostly to get himself out of a jam. However, they make an unlikely couple for sure. I mean, Conker is a normal red squirrel, and Berri is a chipmunk with dyed fur. And she's about thrice as tall as her boyfriend. I don't wanna know how those two.... ahem, have their business. Considering the game is rated M however, it's rather strange they didn't do so... I mean, really.

Alas, moving on! Let's go to the DK crew. As early as the first Donkey Kong Country, a girl by the name of Candy Kong was called DK's love interest. However, apart from the cartoons they didn't acknowledge each other as an item. And as today I still think that Candy takes more of a liking towards Funky as opposed to DK. However, in Donkey Kong Country 2: Diddy's Kong Quest we got introduced to Dixie Kong, Diddy's supposed girlfriend. They didn't really act very lovey-dovey either, but the love somehow was there. Mostly in fan-art, though..

Banjo-Kazooie wasn't about rescuing the main character's girlfriend... instead, his sister. Some people may argue that Banjo and Kazooie love each other in a romantic way, but I still don't know if it's platonic or romantic.

And as for Fox and Krystal... Welp, I haven't really got far enough in Star Fox Adventures... still haven't! So I don't know how they feel about each other. However, I somehow picture them having an Avatar-like relationship with each other later on, what with Krystal living on Dinosaur Planet, teehee.

And now for something completely different - platonic friendships! I'll be discussing Donkey Kong Country Returns' ending as well, so beware of spoilers!

Lakes, forests, and more lakes

One thing I find interesting about the Donkey Kong Country games, is how some levels, places, and characters really seem to derive from something else in real life. Some obvious, some not so much, some intentional, but all of it really makes me like the games even more.

Say, since Donkey Kong Country 3: Dixie Kong's Double Trouble!'s overworld, the Northern Kremisphere, was based on Europe, I saw a some similarities on my holiday to France.

Lake Orangatanga - Lac de Ste Croix

A few years ago I went on holiday to Bauduen, France with my parents and some friends. Near us was a lake named Lac de Ste Croix. In person it really bears a lot of resemblance to the lake levels of Donkey Kong Country 3. Well, a lot is an understatement - it is nearly identical, save for the lack of boardwalks. I almost expected running into some Kremlings there.... None of that however - instead I, random as it may seem, ran into one of my classmates. Heh!

My apologies for this short post. I will post more like these similarities once I see some.

Krusha - Just Plain Stupid or Secretly Evil Genius?

So, let's talk about the TV show... again. And let's talk about Krusha.

He's basically a Dumb Muscle taken To The Extreme, and, for some reason, one of my favorite characters. (In fact, I like him enough to have named my Pokémon Feraligatr after him in my Soul Silver game. Heh!) He works for King K. Rool, but I think he'd happily go over to the good side if K. Rool wasn't there. He's the kind of bad guy that's bad at being bad and has the demeanor of a five-year-old. While I never quite get how characters like that manage to have so many muscles, I have been thinking - is he really that stupid? Or is all a ploy to drive his king and possibly General Klump too, insane?

Alright, I'm gonna go offtopic for a minute, please excuse me. Even though it is somewhat relevant. Say, I am a regular reader of Jeff Smith's Bone graphic novels. In it is a character called Smiley Bone. He acts like a total goof, especially in the earlier issues, but later on, he actually shows some brains, and apparently, his stupid behavior earlier on was just to annoy his cousins and get them to squabble. Not to mention Fone Bone took Smiley along with him for the sole reason to annoy Phoney Bone. Yes. Smiley Bone just PRETENDS he's stupid, only for the sake of annoying his friends.

So, with that... what if Krusha is like that too?

I mean, just look at him. Look at that guy.

Meh, should've drawn him more... shall we say, more like he actually is?

Klump: *overhearing Donkey Kong practising proposals* "Did you hear that? Will you marry me!"
Krusha: "Me?"
Klump: "No, ya nincompoop! Donkey Kong!"
Krusha: "You wanna marry Donkey Kong?"
Klump: ... :|


*later at K. Rool's*


K. Rool: "So, who did you say was gonna get married?"
Krusha: "Me and Klump."
Klump: "Never mind him, sir..."


--from the episode "Two Weddings and a funeral Coconut


The seriousness of this exchange depends on your earth. The world of slash fan fiction could be rejoicing as we speak, even though I don't think highly of those two in a romantic relationship. I see 'em more as brothers. But I'm rambling. Moving on...

Apparantly, there is an episode, called Speed, where Krusha gets driven over by a mine cart (ouch, poor dude) and suddenly gets smarter while that happens. While I haven't seen the episode in question because people not uploading it on YouTube and am highly annoyed by that, it does show that he's capable of much more. In Kong for a Day, he has also been shown to be able to perfectly imitate other isle inhabitants' voices. Someone who's capable of doing something like that is most definitely not stupid. Even though in another episode...  From Zero to Hero I believe, through an X-ray it was shown his brain was in his... er-hum. Never mind that. After that happened, the X-ray machine went kaput and Krusha made off with that Crystal Coconut while Cranky wasn't looking. Was it all a ploy? It could've been.

Still doesn't explain his fondness for watching children's shows, though.

Alas, I am possibly all wrong and the only instance of a smart Krusha is Krusha who has been driven over by a mine cart in an episode I have never seen, nor possibly will ever see. Too bad! I do, however, think that he could even stand up against K. Rool when he has enough of that overlord's evil, long-winded speeches if he wants to... One of these days, he'll snap. One "lunkhead" and "despicable non-person" too many and the king is dead. I mean.. You wouldn't want to mess with someone like Krusha. I mean, he's almost twice the size of his king. That's why K. Rool works alone these days - he's frightened by the fact that he believes his loyal henchmen were rebelling against him. That does however conflict with my fanon-ridden back-story for them. I'll tell more about that whenever. I promise.

I guess it depends on if you like the character and if you like thinking it through too much like me. However, I'll still see the guy as a somewhat dimwitted dude... even though he's the coolest. I mean, someone who can call a Kong-Fu Master a "girly ape" is just too awesome.

Say, 'til next update, see ya, Banana Slamma and all that jazz. I'm off on my never-ending quest to find the missing episodes. For now, I bid you adieu.

Where I jump around and rant like a loony

Truth to be told, I adore the DKC TV show possibly more than I adore most other stuff on TV. Skin me alive, kick me out, give me a silly nickname, call me a backstabbing murderer, throw me to the Klaptraps, etc, etc, I don't care. I LOVE THAT SILLY SHOW.

Why yes, Krusha, stealing is, in fact, bad. Too bad you're a bad guy yourself, eh?

But the sad part is, there's some episodes I'm really curious about yet cannot find them anywhere. The episodes I'm looking for are Speed, To the Moon Baboon, Watch the Skies, Baby Kong Blues and Message in a Bottle Show. But the sad part is, I can't find them anywhere, while Mario Wiki even nags me with providing screenshots and plot synopsis's. It irks me to no end, because that show is so darned fun to watch.

See Reaver. See Bluster. See Bluster run. Run, Bluster, run!

Here's the plan - I need help. Help finding those episodes. How can you help? Well... perhaps alert others. I dunno. But only if you feel like it and have got nothing better to do. I don't wanna bother anyone. 'til Then, I'll just draw some stuff. And write fan fiction.

So here goes nothing.

HELP!!!

The king is dead

It was a few days ago, but I feel like I can never live it down.

For Rare has just given most of the permanent art team the boot. This means that we will possibly never see either Conker or Banjo ever again. The thought saddens me deeply. They didn't even get a noble swan song. Nothing. This is a Rare fan's darkest hour since the buyout.

I think this song portrays my sorrow well enough. Yep, we'll never see Kameo again, either. Nor the inhabitants of Timber's Island, or all those other googly-eyed critters that inhabited the various isles in the Rare isles chain.

Except for Diddy Kong.

You see, I see Diddy as the link between Rare and Nintendo, as the link between Donkey Kong Country and Banjo-Kazooie and Conker. Because he was made by Rare, but during the buyout, stayed with Nintendo just because he belonged with DK. If he wasn't affiliated with the ape he'd have gone over to Microsoft. So now, safely under Retro Studios' care, and what with Returns, he's back again and about time too.

But Banjo nor Conker have shown their faces for over a year now.

Goodbye, my friends. May you continue to have adventures beyond the games. Let's all hope that the people who left still have a bit of that Rareware magic in them, and will show the world how much better it could be at their new jobs.

Speaking of art, some fellow Rare-fans have started a new blog - Rarevive. The point is to submit art once in a while, out of pure love for the franchises Rare had created. I know I will contribute some as soon as I find out how.

Good luck, guys. Donkey Kong and Diddy Kong, thank you for defining the beauty of experiences in platform games. Banjo and Kazooie, thank you for all those memories of romping through Spiral Mountain. Conker, thank you for being the first M-rated game I could play without feeling bad about it. Viva Piñata, thanks for all the colorful experiences in my garden. Kameo, thank you for showing me the beauty of the Enchanted Kingdom. Fox and Krystal, thank you for introducing me to the Star Fox saga and the wonder that is Sauria in the most brilliant ways possible.

Thank you, Rare. Thank you.

Diddy through the ages

Like with all videogames, most of the cast from Donkey Kong Country have had different looks before. While this isn't as obvious as with DK himself, he only underwent one drastic change (actually none at all if you take into consideration that the DK from the arcade is actually the modern-day Cranky) and a change of fur color. He always kept his tie, too.

Most design changes are so subtle that only a true nerd, a nerd to end all nerds would notice it. Say, for example, you guys probably know that I have a rather peculiar fangirl-obsession towards Diddy Kong, right?

Well, he's changed quite a bit in the last fifteen years. From his debut in Donkey Kong Country, to Donkey Kong Country Returns. He kept his trademark red cap and shirt all his life, but to be honest, I think I prefer his design post-buyout. *dodges rotten tomatoes getting thrown at me* Something about how he gets portrayed by Rare outside the games in promotional renders looks... iffy. He's supposed to be a cute little monkey, folks! Cute does not equal loads and loads of details and stuff!

And all that while he looks adorable in-game.

D'aww he's looking at us guys

Yeah, I don't really know about this. I am nitpicky, I know. He's still cute, though. And the renders are actually very well-done still, despite my nitpicking. Speaking of well-done renders...

Donkey Kong Country - The Wind Waker? I like cel-shadedness.

Donkey Konga may or may not be a well-remembered game, you gotta hand the makers that they made some cool promotional artwork. Let it be said that that's probably the only time I'm ever mentioning the game here.

Dinosaur Planet's do's and didn'ts

I know most of you don't like fanon, preferring reality with facts over mere theories. But sometimes I have an idea, and that idea is just too perfect to not be canon. So it's fanon instead, and I use my fanon in each fan fiction I write. Do you follow me? What has this to do with fanon... well, you guys do remember Dinosaur Planet?

You know, I quite like this artwork. Why didn't Rare make more of it?

Of course you do! Not to be confused with a Discovery Channel series with a similar name, that epic adventure game with those... cat/fox dudes as protagonists, who were on a journey to find a wizard dude who also was their poppa [citation needed], and at the same time battle evil dinosaurs led by the even eviller General Scales... what do you mean, never heard of it? That may just be because it got changed into Star Fox Adventures late in development. I never witnessed this happening as I was much too young but... The character of Krystal got a drastic makeover while the character of Sabre just disappeared and got replaced by the similar-looking Fox McCloud. Poof. Zap. Zlitch. And gone.