Where is the LOVE?

Love is a word with a lot of different meanings. Alas, that should be known - but nowadays, most people seem to think it's just a synonym for wanting to screw each other. For shame! As it should be noted, I am a sucker for romance... and let's say most Rare games have a lot of it. However, let's start with the usual.... lovey-dovey romance stuff.

Alright, first things first, we'll start with Conker. Conker and Berri are officially and canonically boyfriend and girlfriend. However, we never really saw 'em actually being kind to each other.... save for a throwaway line by Conker that was mostly to get himself out of a jam. However, they make an unlikely couple for sure. I mean, Conker is a normal red squirrel, and Berri is a chipmunk with dyed fur. And she's about thrice as tall as her boyfriend. I don't wanna know how those two.... ahem, have their business. Considering the game is rated M however, it's rather strange they didn't do so... I mean, really.

Alas, moving on! Let's go to the DK crew. As early as the first Donkey Kong Country, a girl by the name of Candy Kong was called DK's love interest. However, apart from the cartoons they didn't acknowledge each other as an item. And as today I still think that Candy takes more of a liking towards Funky as opposed to DK. However, in Donkey Kong Country 2: Diddy's Kong Quest we got introduced to Dixie Kong, Diddy's supposed girlfriend. They didn't really act very lovey-dovey either, but the love somehow was there. Mostly in fan-art, though..

Banjo-Kazooie wasn't about rescuing the main character's girlfriend... instead, his sister. Some people may argue that Banjo and Kazooie love each other in a romantic way, but I still don't know if it's platonic or romantic.

And as for Fox and Krystal... Welp, I haven't really got far enough in Star Fox Adventures... still haven't! So I don't know how they feel about each other. However, I somehow picture them having an Avatar-like relationship with each other later on, what with Krystal living on Dinosaur Planet, teehee.

And now for something completely different - platonic friendships! I'll be discussing Donkey Kong Country Returns' ending as well, so beware of spoilers!

Dinosaur Planet's do's and didn'ts

I know most of you don't like fanon, preferring reality with facts over mere theories. But sometimes I have an idea, and that idea is just too perfect to not be canon. So it's fanon instead, and I use my fanon in each fan fiction I write. Do you follow me? What has this to do with fanon... well, you guys do remember Dinosaur Planet?

You know, I quite like this artwork. Why didn't Rare make more of it?

Of course you do! Not to be confused with a Discovery Channel series with a similar name, that epic adventure game with those... cat/fox dudes as protagonists, who were on a journey to find a wizard dude who also was their poppa [citation needed], and at the same time battle evil dinosaurs led by the even eviller General Scales... what do you mean, never heard of it? That may just be because it got changed into Star Fox Adventures late in development. I never witnessed this happening as I was much too young but... The character of Krystal got a drastic makeover while the character of Sabre just disappeared and got replaced by the similar-looking Fox McCloud. Poof. Zap. Zlitch. And gone.