Random thoughts - Klump's Lumps

Don't waste your time

looking at a sorry sight like me

A quivering pile of mush, that's me

All my years of service and devotion to the King

I'm a quivering, snivelling, non-existent thing

I know I've failed

I know my ship has sailed

Stripped of my rank

I know my ship has sank

And I haven't got a friend in the world...

I'm a quivering, snivelling, blubberin', nameless non-existent pile of nothing, worthless, soggy pile of mush

And I haven't got a friend in the world, no

I haven't got a friend in the world...

This wonderful episode of the Donkey Kong Country TV show stood out to me because it was so emotional and stayed like this 'til the end -- some silly scenes with Krusha and K. Rool aside -- which was pretty unusual for a cartoon like this. I mean, Klump. Dude's job was his life, and then he gets kicked out with nowhere to go. Dixie Kong is the first (and only) Kong who befriends him. Never mind that he's a bad guy. It was this episode that made me love Klump. Precious thing... I cannot fathom how anyone couldn't have at least a bit of sympathy towards him after this episode.


Emotional things in kids' cartoons like this are usually only found in fan fiction these days, and I find this downright saddening.

(Note: if the formatting looks weird, it's because I was going to post it on Tumblr at first. I decided not to. Also, I passed 10000k pageviews. You guys rock, thank you. :) I'm gonna be working on a little tribute image soon! ...And something special. It concerns the cartoon and music. You'll see! ...And sorry for the shortness of this post. More stuff coming soon.

...

Wow. Did I seriously type 10000k? I think I was tired when I wrote this... I obviously meant 10000.) 

Whose show is it anyway

And now, it's time for something completely different.

Sorry for not posting much here. School has been eating me alive. That, and I've found out about the Regular Show and for some reason this cartoon has captivated me. (I might or might not have a crush on Mordecai now and I have no clue why.) But do not worry, this doesn't mean BeJungle'd will turn into, uh... something centered around that. Although the show is awesome, trying to think of logic behind it is a lost cause. And I'll always love Donkey Kong Country.

I have been writing on this article for a few months now, so some thoughts might be outdated.

The Donkey Kong animated series (there I go again) isn't too well-received on the internet, for shame. Though I hear much people saying it isn't good, I personally find it quite clever, and much more fun to watch than most recent cartoons (sans the Regular Show, of course, which is clever. Other clever cartoons are Adventure Time and uh... more stuff.) Ahem. Moving on...

What would a Donkey Kong cartoon be like if I was in charge?

In no way an insult to Nelvana's work, by the way. They've done amazing work. I just wondered how it would be if I was allowed to write it.

Warning; we are now moving into highly unstable Loads and Loads of Characters territory. Approach with caution.

1. The Kong Clan

Primary main characters would be Donkey Kong, Diddy, and Dixie. These three are just what makes DKC to me.

Keep Diddy's personality from the show with a bit of added 'tough kid' attitude, make DK a bit tougher and make Dixie more cheeky, like a female equivalent of Diddy. I'm not certain about the voices, but I am certain that Andrew Sabiston should return as Diddy Kong 'cause I find his Diddy to be the best Diddy portrayal so far.

Watch out, Dix! I'mma pop ur bubblegum!

The secondary cast would consist of Kiddy (taking the role of Baby Kong), Tiny (in either her original design or the newer, I don't know. Maybe the original because I'm tired of seeing her recent design being portrayed as fetish fuel all the time.), Funky, and Cranky. Tertiary characters would be Candy, Swanky, Chunky, and Lanky.
Less about DK gushing over Candy and more interaction with his family. Add fluff. Lots of fluff.
Quartiary characters? Hell, Bluster can return too.

Not much to it. Let's move onto my personal favourites...

2. The Kremling Krew

Properly labelled as such this time, the Kremling Krew still consists of Klump and Krusha with K. Rool as the leader. Though this time they're accompanied by Kalypso, the fair lady lizard with the awesome pink hairdo and Kludge, that big, hulking blue dude that apparently has the mindset of a small child (even moreso than Krusha). Sometimes Kritters, Kip and Kass, Kopter, and some others tag along as well. Kruncha is Krusha's slightly flamboyant cousin, and Krusha may or may not undergo a name change thanks to copyrights. For the sake of simplicity I will just refer to him as Krusha.

K'Rool's gang of evul dudes (and two dudettes) continue to wreak havoc on DK Isle for no reason. Well, except to steal the Crystal Coconut. Again? Yup. And the banana hoard. But here's the catch; they want the coconut 'cause it's the only thing that can tell the true location of the bananas, which are much-renowned golden bananas! Heh. I'm a friggin' genius. /brag

Where is the LOVE?

Love is a word with a lot of different meanings. Alas, that should be known - but nowadays, most people seem to think it's just a synonym for wanting to screw each other. For shame! As it should be noted, I am a sucker for romance... and let's say most Rare games have a lot of it. However, let's start with the usual.... lovey-dovey romance stuff.

Alright, first things first, we'll start with Conker. Conker and Berri are officially and canonically boyfriend and girlfriend. However, we never really saw 'em actually being kind to each other.... save for a throwaway line by Conker that was mostly to get himself out of a jam. However, they make an unlikely couple for sure. I mean, Conker is a normal red squirrel, and Berri is a chipmunk with dyed fur. And she's about thrice as tall as her boyfriend. I don't wanna know how those two.... ahem, have their business. Considering the game is rated M however, it's rather strange they didn't do so... I mean, really.

Alas, moving on! Let's go to the DK crew. As early as the first Donkey Kong Country, a girl by the name of Candy Kong was called DK's love interest. However, apart from the cartoons they didn't acknowledge each other as an item. And as today I still think that Candy takes more of a liking towards Funky as opposed to DK. However, in Donkey Kong Country 2: Diddy's Kong Quest we got introduced to Dixie Kong, Diddy's supposed girlfriend. They didn't really act very lovey-dovey either, but the love somehow was there. Mostly in fan-art, though..

Banjo-Kazooie wasn't about rescuing the main character's girlfriend... instead, his sister. Some people may argue that Banjo and Kazooie love each other in a romantic way, but I still don't know if it's platonic or romantic.

And as for Fox and Krystal... Welp, I haven't really got far enough in Star Fox Adventures... still haven't! So I don't know how they feel about each other. However, I somehow picture them having an Avatar-like relationship with each other later on, what with Krystal living on Dinosaur Planet, teehee.

And now for something completely different - platonic friendships! I'll be discussing Donkey Kong Country Returns' ending as well, so beware of spoilers!