E3 2014 Rareniverse coverage

Not much happening this year. Donkey Kong appears as a cool new figure for Nintendo's new Amiibo feature, and Diddy will undoubtedly follow. New playable characters in Super Smash Bros. are Palutena, Pac-Man and every Mii imaginable. Once again, K. Rool has been snubbed, but I'm afraid there'll be no way to predict if he really is not in the game until it actually releases. At least there's the Kremlings. Schrale troost.

Don't worry, K. Rool. I'm not in Smash Bros. either.

...Wait.

And of course, best of all -- Conker's back.

Definitely the highlight of Microsoft's otherwise pretty dull conference, the game's called Project Spark, where you basically create your own worlds, levels, games -- and he's a playable character. It's not a Bad Fur Day 2 (thank LOG!) but he's a DLC, and he looks amazing. The rest of the game, even without him, looks like a lot of fun as well. He sounds like Conker as well.
Sources are being vague, but right now it's not sure if Chris Seavor voiced him or not. Additionally, some sources thought for a moment that it was my dear boyfriend Bryant instead, and it honestly wouldn't have surprised me. Bry does a pretty damn accurate Conker impression. We were both in a Skype call, watching Microsoft's conference and not having much faith in it, together with another friend of ours when he came on screen. The reactions, all of our reactions, it was amazing. I wish I had recorded it.

Tropical Freeze; where DK is relevant again

WARNING; this WILL contain spoilers! Tread carefully!

So last Monday I went out to buy a Wii U. Earlier, on Saturday, I had purchased Donkey Kong Country Tropical Freeze, my most anticipated game of this year.

A reason I love Tropical Freeze is because it fits in perfectly with other DKC games. Returns did too, but it fell flat on some points. And even then, Returns was amazing. We all thought it couldn't get better than Returns. Except, guess what? It did get better than Returns. Who would'a thought that?

Why I love Conker's Bad Fur Day

(I was gonna do this as a video, narrating it, as a subtle jab to another video I don't even deem worthy of watching -- but my dumb deep Dutch vocal chords don't allow me to do anything without sounding like a complete moron. Boo hiss.)

Conker's Bad Fur Day was my most favourite thing three years ago. The game was so dear to me because it was made by Rare - I'm betting that if Rare had no involvement, I never would've picked up the game in the first place.

Truth to be told, violent and/or questionable things couldn't interest me less at the time. I got into some anime about dogs killing each other... because it was about dogs. Similarly, I got into Conker because he wasn't some buff, muscular, middle-aged guy, but instead, a cute little squirrel.

Well, really, that's the catch; he looks cute and fuzzy, but in reality, he's got a severe drinking problem and ends up depressed.

Don't beat 'em, join 'em - about Viva Piñata

Why, yes, I am back. And I say; let's talk about Viva Piñata.

The games are just about the most beautiful thing to ever grace the Xbox 360. And maybe PC and DS too. Quirky, colourful, and creative, it's a sort of simulation game where you basically build a garden which attracts live animal piñatas. If they like your garden enough, they take residence and you can build them houses, name them, even dress them up in cool costumes, romance them so you can get more of the same species, to eventually send them to a party. (These functions were a lot more elaborate in the sequel.) Meanwhile, Professor Pester and his ruffians and sour Piñatas attempt to wreak havoc.

Some of its best points, to me at least, are its colourfulness, and its heavy stylization. It's not meant to be realistic. Instead, everything is vibrant and charmingly cartoony, and adorned with nifty patterns. From the smallest flower to the biggest tree - even the grass. But somehow, it is still believable, something Rare is very good at. They dare to be different, and that's exactly where its charms come from. Aside all this, it has a lot of shout-outs to past Rare games, which is awesome.

And of course, the music. The amazing soundtrack as composed by Grant Kirkhope, who also composed Banjo-Kazooie's and Donkey Kong 64's soundtrack, is both whimsical and atmospheric. I'm not exaggerating when I say it made me cry sometimes simply because it is so beautiful.

I have been mesmerized by this lovely game for years now, ever since I got the original on the PC, and later bought an Xbox 360 and played Viva Piñata: Trouble in Paradise, its sequel. Lately, I've begun picking it up again and I'm having the most fun I've had in quite a while. Trouble in Paradise can be considered as some kind of 'expansion pack', as it has everything from the original game, but more, such as over 20 new Piñata species, more things to do, new regions like the Piñarctic and the Dessert Desert, and a lot of new items. Even if it's a standalone game.

So anyway, beautiful games. But the real reason I picked it up again was because a group of friends of mine I know from role playing on Tumblr were all excited about it, and chatting about it on our Skype group. I remembered I had the game as well and I played it again. But what they were also quite enthusiastic about was the animated series. Yep. I originally dismissed it because I had the dreadful 'hurr hurr, it's not the same as the games so it sucks!' attitude. You know, the same thing people think about the Donkey Kong Country cartoon, which I'm presumably one of the biggest fans of. Now I've lost that attitude, which is for the better.

Anyway, I heard good things about it and decided to check it out - with the open mind to end all open minds.

After having seen only one episode, I was hooked. It was no Donkey Kong Country.

In fact, I daresay I liked it better than Donkey Kong Country.

3 characters crueler than K. Rool

We all know the Donkey Kong Country cartoon. If you have been following this blog for a while, I'm sure you do. And most people don't like it as much, but I am convinced it is as good as the games, just in a totally different way. To accentuate my point, I feel the need to point out I went out of my way to download the entire series to my PC for the sole reason of making shallow parodies of it.

Well then, all silliness aside, let's start this thing off.

In DK lore, there have been three true villains - namely King K. Rool (under different aliases), Ghastly King, and Tiki Tong.

K. Rool was just some asshole who decided to troll DK by stealing the banana hoard, Ghastly King was an evil monkey from SPACE that wanted to rule over the Fruit Kingdoms for no real reason and Tiki Tong stole the banana hoard to keep his race alive and possibly take over the world. Fair share of hindrances, right? It is nothing compared to the vast amount of baddies Mario fought in the past, but this is mostly to blame on the fact that Nintendo obviously favours Mario over Donkey Kong. Which is saddening, because they debuted in the same game.

Anyway, K. Rool and co. were typical antagonists, setting up the games' plot. But what about those other characters who had done unspeakable things people presumably forgot all about because they weren't the main villains?

(note that this article is meant to not be taken entirely seriously and is here for humorous purposes only.)

3. Bluster Kong

Bluster Kong is one of the show-only characters, and nearly everybody who doesn't appreciate the show blames their dislike of it on Bluster. I honestly don't blame them - while this specific Kong provides a lot of humorous scenes and dialogue and I don't mind him, he takes up a lot of space, having three episodes with him in the limelight.

"Don't blame me! That miserable Donkey Kong was already hogging the spotlight in the games!"

He's a pathetic mommy's boy, constantly whining about his mother and whenever he has to do manual labor, all hell breaks loose. Figuratively, of course. Bluster can't really... do anything. He's not strong, he can't jump high, and he certainly isn't a hell of a guy. He also has a grudge towards Donkey Kong, for the sole reason that DK is constantly hitting on Candy, the only adult female ape in the cartoon who isn't Bluster's mom or Great Aunt Grouchy. Bluster is not happy with this because he too has an eye on Candy, to the point where he gets a bit desperate in some episodes, like in A Thin Line Between Love and Ape, where he makes a love potion to make her love him.

Evil?

The episode Bad Hair Day, AKA the only episode most people know of, had him being introduced as another all-around jerk. Fair enough. But eventually, Donkey Kong loses his hair (and his muscles) and Cranky makes a potion to make it grow back. Candy and Bluster set out to find DK. Eventually, in the jungle, Bluster complains that "I can't walk anymore! My feet are sore, I've got sand in my shoes, and I'm thirsty!" leading to him snatching the potion from Candy. He empties the bottle on the ground.

Dixie Kong's Double Trouble!

Donkey Kong Country 3: Dixie Kong's Double Trouble!. The third installment and last entry in the Donkey Kong Country games (until Returns, of course), was a marvellous way to end a series but still I see it getting so much flak. For shame, because it still holds a special place in my heart. Mostly because it was, in fact, the first Donkey Kong game I played.

While by no means as good as the first game, and it doesn't even do so much as hold a candle to the second, it still is a beautiful game with great gameplay, mind-blowingly beautiful environments in a time when something like that was hard to find in games, and an awesome soundtrack.

No butts about it

Warning. This post might be a bit disturbing. It involves K. Rool's behind. I promise to not post any pictures of it, though. If you're still frankly not interested in these things, I ask you kindly to skip this article.

"NO, you lunkhead! I'm not fat, you're just paying attention to all the wrong things!"

Best songs in the series... in my opinion

Having finally seen the whole series, I can finally judge the songs. A lot of haters of the show usually jab at the songs first, claiming it to be bad and out-of-place, never mind the fact that the games had some very impressive music as well. Click the title to hear them!

10. Diddy Drop Rap (Follow That Coconut)

DK and Diddy went running through the mountains thinking nobody would think they'd go through the mountains. Except K. Rool had the exact idea. They bump into each other to which K. Rool holds Diddy over a cliff. So what do they do? They rap. It must be heard to be believed.

As silly as this sounds it's actually quite catchy and the only song in the show I can sing myself without watching the episode. Much to the annoyance of my friends, heh!

9. I Haven't Got a Friend in the World (Klump's Lumps)

This episode was one of the first I saw way back when I was just a little Ribbers - and I developed a liking towards Klump because of it that I still have to this day.... I mean, just LOOK at him poor guy awww

So yeah, after another failed plan he got exiled by King K. Rool leaving him in the jungle. He meets up with Dixie and the two become friends. It's pretty heartwarming. And bloody adorable, too.

8. The Mirror Never Lies (Ape-Nesia)

Let's face it, Skurvy's singing voice is awesome. It's no wonder his voice actor voiced Klump in season 2! But anyway, DK loses his memory and the pirates convince him he's Donkey Croc, a pirate. So Skurvy gets a mirror that's not really a mirror and they sing about DK being a pirate.

Unbelievable, people! Rare, Nintendo, and Nelvana made pirates awesome even before Pirates of the Caribbean!

The reflection tells a story of a pirates' life and glory, trust your eyes!

And so my quest ends

A while ago I posted an announcement about how I wanted to find the missing DKC episodes, right? Well, great news - I have now finally seen them. A kindly DeviantART user pointed me to them. On YouTube, no less! The quality left something to be desired but now I can at least happily say I have seen alllll episodes. Oh, and a while ago a nice fellow on the DKC-Atlas forums sent me the episode To the Moon Baboon.

As awesome as the episodes were, there's one thing now...

I've been jossed. With all those fan theories, it was bound to happen, really.

Subject 1; Speed

The holy grail for me, being a Krusha fan, was this episode, where he got a starring role! It begins with Krusha and K. Rool conversing about how to acquire that crystal coconut. Suddenly, Klump comes in riding a mine cart and being the goof that he is, drives all over poor Krusha.
No harm done, though. Instead Krusha gets insanely smart and more smooth-talking than the King himself and devises a plan to get rid of the Kongs, take over the island, and get the Coconut while he's at it. Implements a bomb on a mine cart accompanied by Candy Clone, messes around with everyone else with his recent possession of a brain and considers K. Rool, the former evil mastermind, to be disposable. Until the end where he gets driven over AGAIN and regains his stupid but lovable attitude.

Why does this joss my views?

For one, I had always seen Krusha as one who couldn't sing at all, as the only one in a group of singers. But in this episode, he gets a song all to his own where he claims being evil is AWESOME and his voice isn't too shabby either. So erm... yeah? It can be argued that in his normal state he's still as bad at singing as Justin Bieber.

Not to mention Klump frequently calls him lunkhead even after driving him over. I mean, DUDE! Where's the LOVE you just drove over your ADOPTIVE S- Oh yes, fan theories... excuse me... the sweetest thing in all episode he did was say "Welcome back, soldier." after Krusha became as dumb as he was before. Aww.

Subject 2; Baby Kong Blues

This one is about how Candy and Dixie are babysitting Baby Kong. DK and Diddy walk past and joke about how easy it is to babysit. Candy and Dixie then decide to leave the two men to care after Baby Kong. Naturally, disaster follows with the baby going everywhere and he eventually ends up at K. Rool's place. DK devises a plan to trade the crystal coconut for Baby Kong but K. Rool insists on keeping the kid to raise him as his heir. Meanwhile, he and his cronies mess around, tell tales to get the baby to sleep, and DK thinks of another plan. DK's plan is to switch Baby Kong with another baby... Diddy in baby clothes. Donkey Kong pulls the ol' switcharoo (the writers like this cliche it seems) and puts Diddy in Baby Kong's place. DK and Diddy now leave with the infant, leaving everyone in the cave sad.

Why does this joss my views?

Baby Krusha, anyone? Bet you heard that story before... K. Rool doesn't act like he'd ever seen a baby before. MY THEORIES, MY LOVE! Ahem. And let's not mention Klump. While he suddenly mentions being able to put a nappy on er... Baby Kong that's actually Diddy, can't blame Diddy for yelling and wanting to GET OUTTA HERE (let's not mention that in-show with everyone adult disregarding Baby Kong) he too acts completely oblivious to the fact there's a baby in the hideout. "KOOCHIE-KOOCHIE-KOO." indeed, General.

And in one of his tales he mentions a hot day in July that was so hot he could saute seaweed on his tail... AND how he met K. Rool that day. I pictured it more a dreary November and that the King took him in mostly out of pity, but eh... never mind that

Subject 3; Watch the Skies

Unrelated image is unrelated. Sorry.

Rumours about alien zombies on the isle arise and the Kong family (just DK and Diddy though) gets sent into a tizzy. Later on, DK discovers that the Kongs' weird acting has just to do with them planning a surprise party for Diddy's birthday. Meanwhile, the UFO they presumably saw was just another one of K. Rool's plans... eventually he persuades Diddy into getting him the crystal coconut. But he fails and DK takes it back... and Krusha barfs all over Klump's clean uniform.

Why does this joss my views?

It doesn't, really. Huh.

The end?

It's quite a shame - now I've got nothing to search for anymore. But oh well, it was fun while it lasted. I have ordered two Dutch videos of this show and will decide if the Dutch voices are as awesome as the English ones. But after that, there's nothing left for me to search for apart for collectible figurines and plushes that are insanely expensive...

Thank you kindly for this awesome show, Nelvana!

The king is dead

It was a few days ago, but I feel like I can never live it down.

For Rare has just given most of the permanent art team the boot. This means that we will possibly never see either Conker or Banjo ever again. The thought saddens me deeply. They didn't even get a noble swan song. Nothing. This is a Rare fan's darkest hour since the buyout.

I think this song portrays my sorrow well enough. Yep, we'll never see Kameo again, either. Nor the inhabitants of Timber's Island, or all those other googly-eyed critters that inhabited the various isles in the Rare isles chain.

Except for Diddy Kong.

You see, I see Diddy as the link between Rare and Nintendo, as the link between Donkey Kong Country and Banjo-Kazooie and Conker. Because he was made by Rare, but during the buyout, stayed with Nintendo just because he belonged with DK. If he wasn't affiliated with the ape he'd have gone over to Microsoft. So now, safely under Retro Studios' care, and what with Returns, he's back again and about time too.

But Banjo nor Conker have shown their faces for over a year now.

Goodbye, my friends. May you continue to have adventures beyond the games. Let's all hope that the people who left still have a bit of that Rareware magic in them, and will show the world how much better it could be at their new jobs.

Speaking of art, some fellow Rare-fans have started a new blog - Rarevive. The point is to submit art once in a while, out of pure love for the franchises Rare had created. I know I will contribute some as soon as I find out how.

Good luck, guys. Donkey Kong and Diddy Kong, thank you for defining the beauty of experiences in platform games. Banjo and Kazooie, thank you for all those memories of romping through Spiral Mountain. Conker, thank you for being the first M-rated game I could play without feeling bad about it. Viva Piñata, thanks for all the colorful experiences in my garden. Kameo, thank you for showing me the beauty of the Enchanted Kingdom. Fox and Krystal, thank you for introducing me to the Star Fox saga and the wonder that is Sauria in the most brilliant ways possible.

Thank you, Rare. Thank you.

Diddy through the ages

Like with all videogames, most of the cast from Donkey Kong Country have had different looks before. While this isn't as obvious as with DK himself, he only underwent one drastic change (actually none at all if you take into consideration that the DK from the arcade is actually the modern-day Cranky) and a change of fur color. He always kept his tie, too.

Most design changes are so subtle that only a true nerd, a nerd to end all nerds would notice it. Say, for example, you guys probably know that I have a rather peculiar fangirl-obsession towards Diddy Kong, right?

Well, he's changed quite a bit in the last fifteen years. From his debut in Donkey Kong Country, to Donkey Kong Country Returns. He kept his trademark red cap and shirt all his life, but to be honest, I think I prefer his design post-buyout. *dodges rotten tomatoes getting thrown at me* Something about how he gets portrayed by Rare outside the games in promotional renders looks... iffy. He's supposed to be a cute little monkey, folks! Cute does not equal loads and loads of details and stuff!

And all that while he looks adorable in-game.

D'aww he's looking at us guys

Yeah, I don't really know about this. I am nitpicky, I know. He's still cute, though. And the renders are actually very well-done still, despite my nitpicking. Speaking of well-done renders...

Donkey Kong Country - The Wind Waker? I like cel-shadedness.

Donkey Konga may or may not be a well-remembered game, you gotta hand the makers that they made some cool promotional artwork. Let it be said that that's probably the only time I'm ever mentioning the game here.

Dinosaur Planet's do's and didn'ts

I know most of you don't like fanon, preferring reality with facts over mere theories. But sometimes I have an idea, and that idea is just too perfect to not be canon. So it's fanon instead, and I use my fanon in each fan fiction I write. Do you follow me? What has this to do with fanon... well, you guys do remember Dinosaur Planet?

You know, I quite like this artwork. Why didn't Rare make more of it?

Of course you do! Not to be confused with a Discovery Channel series with a similar name, that epic adventure game with those... cat/fox dudes as protagonists, who were on a journey to find a wizard dude who also was their poppa [citation needed], and at the same time battle evil dinosaurs led by the even eviller General Scales... what do you mean, never heard of it? That may just be because it got changed into Star Fox Adventures late in development. I never witnessed this happening as I was much too young but... The character of Krystal got a drastic makeover while the character of Sabre just disappeared and got replaced by the similar-looking Fox McCloud. Poof. Zap. Zlitch. And gone.

My ultimate top fifteen of DKC music

I figured I'd post one of these since every cool kid does so nowadays. Donkey Kong Country has, in my mind, always stuck out as one of the games of which the soundtrack really enhances the experience. There is something about those beautiful, heartfelt tracks that strike my heart.
I'll be discussing Donkey Kong Country, Donkey Kong Country 2: Diddy's Kong Quest, Donkey Kong Country 3: Dixie Kong's Double Trouble!, Donkey Kong 64, and Donkey Kong Country Returns (not counting remixes.). Other Rare soundtracks will be discussed later on. For anyone that hasn't played Returns yet, this post will contain spoilers!

15. Northern Hemispheres (DKC)

What appears to be an extremely minimalistic track, it builds its suspense up the farther it goes - and it does so with style. It really fits the barren, snowed-in wastelands of Gorilla Glacier, capturing the wintry feel of icy mountains without sounding overly cheerful. And you have to play the game to believe this, but the snow falling down is an amazing effect that really adds to the experience. This track made its triumphant return in Donkey Kong Country Returns. Even though the snow has seemingly melted away, the track also seems to work perfectly for barren mountainsides.

14. Donkey Kong Rescued (DKC2)

Ah, the credits theme! Should be remembered by anyone who triumphed over the game before. This amazing track is really powerful yet bittersweet, and really tells you that you've brought an amazing journey to an end. It begins with a characteristic squeaking of which I'm not sure what it's from, to some awesome percussion and a simply breathtaking trumpet solo, and ending it with the most awesome electric guitar... esque instrument I've ever heard. This is one of the many tracks in the series that really makes you believe, or want to believe, that Donkey Kong, Diddy Kong, Dixie Kong and all those other characters are real.

Female roles and how they affect the games

As it should be mentioned, I rather like it if anything in the media, be it games or books or movies, has a female character who isn't just useless. Yet, most female roles get downgraded as fetish fuel or damsels-in-distress, or maybe both. I find that rather useless, to be honest. Because I am a girl myself, I strongly appreciate female characters that actually do something, and aren't just there as a piece of enjoyment for the strong male hero to feast his eyes on. Or as something that needs rescuing, for that matter.

It seems to me that Rare is one of the few game developers who actually uses female characters in a place that could easily be filled up by a male. There are some exceptions, but most of their video game girls have strong personalities. They could have easily been male, but they weren't.

First and foremost, I'll be discussing Banjo-Kazooie.

what all female birds should look and act like.

A rather cheerful faerie-tale-gone-wrong game about a bear and a bird who save the bear's little sister from a rhyming witch. Well, Kazooie, the red-crested Breegull, is a rude, sharp-tongued bird who gives everyone nicknames yet also somehow cares about her bear buddy. Yes, her. Kazooie's a she? Why, she sure is. But she isn't very feminine, isn't she? Not at all. Back then, this led most kids who couldn't read to believe that she was a he.