Dixie Kong's Double Trouble!

Donkey Kong Country 3: Dixie Kong's Double Trouble!. The third installment and last entry in the Donkey Kong Country games (until Returns, of course), was a marvellous way to end a series but still I see it getting so much flak. For shame, because it still holds a special place in my heart. Mostly because it was, in fact, the first Donkey Kong game I played.

While by no means as good as the first game, and it doesn't even do so much as hold a candle to the second, it still is a beautiful game with great gameplay, mind-blowingly beautiful environments in a time when something like that was hard to find in games, and an awesome soundtrack.

Holidays

Just posting this to wish everybody who reads this a Merry Christmas!

...Or if you don't celebrate Christmas, happy Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, Festival of Lights or whatever else you might be celebrating! And a happy New Year! Enjoy it, because it's presumably the end of the world next year. Yeah, like I'd believe that. I'd sooner believe an island with intelligent monkeys and crocodiles inhabiting it is real.

Sigh.

Anyway, thanks for reading this blog and sticking with me all these years! It's been nearly a year now since BeJungle'd! had seen the light of day, as a little fangirl-blog of a little... fangirl. And I hadn't regret it ever since, even with the few followers I have now, you're all special to me, honestly.
I'm still as obsessed with DK as I was before and this holiday, I am secretly wishing that there will soon be a new DK game. Even if it will be on the 3DS which I don't have. Oh well.

Other news, I have finally managed to buy the Krusha figure from the Japanese Takara set! Much joy is had! ...he still hasn't arrived yet and it's been almost a week but the shipping was dirt cheap so I must wait but I don't even mind. And I might be getting Donkey Kong Jet Race/Barrel Blast and Donkey Kong: Jungle Beat soon. More stuff to contemplate over! Hee hee!

Happy Holidays, and don't feed the Klaptraps!

Oh, and if you ever have a plush K. Rool you don't want anymore for whatever reason? Sell it to me. I will be indebted to you.

No butts about it

Warning. This post might be a bit disturbing. It involves K. Rool's behind. I promise to not post any pictures of it, though. If you're still frankly not interested in these things, I ask you kindly to skip this article.

"NO, you lunkhead! I'm not fat, you're just paying attention to all the wrong things!"

Much love for Diddy's Kong Quest

The best game ever made.

A risky subject. Due to ever-changing opinions, no game truly can be called a perfect game. But for me, there is. This game is Donkey Kong Country 2: Diddy's Kong Quest.

(I recommend listening to this music piece while reading this; click!)

I have not said it a lot, but this game means so much to me. So. Freaking. Much. Just everything about it is perfect in my eyes and it's what I think of if somebody mentions Donkey Kong. How ironic - he isn't even playable in that game!

Resources

We all know Donkey Kong and Diddy Kong wear clothes. Same for the Kremlings. And Banjo-Kazooie and Conker are even more blatantly clothing-wearing than DK and pals, so there you go. They also use a lot of items made of wood, steel, even rock, possibly taking after the citizens from the Mushroom Kingdom that attempted colonizing their isles all those years ago.

Now you might wonder; why the hell is this a blog post? Well, here you go; where do they get their resources?

I mentioned power sources not too long ago, but I mean, stuff like DK's television and K. Rool's PC didn't just fall out of thin air, now did they?

But the resources they have... where do they go?

I am presuming the Isle o' Hags, as large as it is, has some specialists whom buy the resources in bulk and in turn make objects of it.

Resource 1; Wood

Wood is abundant and necessarily for life nearly everywhere. Chop down a tree and you can make stuff with it. DK Isle abounds in wood, obviously, but it's mostly tropical. No, the real deal is the Northern Kremisphere.

A mainly forested region, abundant in large, stately, ominous redwood trees. (sequoias?) Most notable in the Kremwood Forest. The little isle in its centre provides a place for the Mekanos factories. They, presumably Kremlings, chop down the trees for use as fuel, building material, and suchlike, if the level Ripsaw Rage is of any significance.
So, they ship the wood to the Isle o' Hags where it gets changed into useful appliances. The Kremlings have a cutting-edge scale of technology for some reason with large airships... which brings us to our next subject;

Best songs in the series... in my opinion

Having finally seen the whole series, I can finally judge the songs. A lot of haters of the show usually jab at the songs first, claiming it to be bad and out-of-place, never mind the fact that the games had some very impressive music as well. Click the title to hear them!

10. Diddy Drop Rap (Follow That Coconut)

DK and Diddy went running through the mountains thinking nobody would think they'd go through the mountains. Except K. Rool had the exact idea. They bump into each other to which K. Rool holds Diddy over a cliff. So what do they do? They rap. It must be heard to be believed.

As silly as this sounds it's actually quite catchy and the only song in the show I can sing myself without watching the episode. Much to the annoyance of my friends, heh!

9. I Haven't Got a Friend in the World (Klump's Lumps)

This episode was one of the first I saw way back when I was just a little Ribbers - and I developed a liking towards Klump because of it that I still have to this day.... I mean, just LOOK at him poor guy awww

So yeah, after another failed plan he got exiled by King K. Rool leaving him in the jungle. He meets up with Dixie and the two become friends. It's pretty heartwarming. And bloody adorable, too.

8. The Mirror Never Lies (Ape-Nesia)

Let's face it, Skurvy's singing voice is awesome. It's no wonder his voice actor voiced Klump in season 2! But anyway, DK loses his memory and the pirates convince him he's Donkey Croc, a pirate. So Skurvy gets a mirror that's not really a mirror and they sing about DK being a pirate.

Unbelievable, people! Rare, Nintendo, and Nelvana made pirates awesome even before Pirates of the Caribbean!

The reflection tells a story of a pirates' life and glory, trust your eyes!

And so my quest ends

A while ago I posted an announcement about how I wanted to find the missing DKC episodes, right? Well, great news - I have now finally seen them. A kindly DeviantART user pointed me to them. On YouTube, no less! The quality left something to be desired but now I can at least happily say I have seen alllll episodes. Oh, and a while ago a nice fellow on the DKC-Atlas forums sent me the episode To the Moon Baboon.

As awesome as the episodes were, there's one thing now...

I've been jossed. With all those fan theories, it was bound to happen, really.

Subject 1; Speed

The holy grail for me, being a Krusha fan, was this episode, where he got a starring role! It begins with Krusha and K. Rool conversing about how to acquire that crystal coconut. Suddenly, Klump comes in riding a mine cart and being the goof that he is, drives all over poor Krusha.
No harm done, though. Instead Krusha gets insanely smart and more smooth-talking than the King himself and devises a plan to get rid of the Kongs, take over the island, and get the Coconut while he's at it. Implements a bomb on a mine cart accompanied by Candy Clone, messes around with everyone else with his recent possession of a brain and considers K. Rool, the former evil mastermind, to be disposable. Until the end where he gets driven over AGAIN and regains his stupid but lovable attitude.

Why does this joss my views?

For one, I had always seen Krusha as one who couldn't sing at all, as the only one in a group of singers. But in this episode, he gets a song all to his own where he claims being evil is AWESOME and his voice isn't too shabby either. So erm... yeah? It can be argued that in his normal state he's still as bad at singing as Justin Bieber.

Not to mention Klump frequently calls him lunkhead even after driving him over. I mean, DUDE! Where's the LOVE you just drove over your ADOPTIVE S- Oh yes, fan theories... excuse me... the sweetest thing in all episode he did was say "Welcome back, soldier." after Krusha became as dumb as he was before. Aww.

Subject 2; Baby Kong Blues

This one is about how Candy and Dixie are babysitting Baby Kong. DK and Diddy walk past and joke about how easy it is to babysit. Candy and Dixie then decide to leave the two men to care after Baby Kong. Naturally, disaster follows with the baby going everywhere and he eventually ends up at K. Rool's place. DK devises a plan to trade the crystal coconut for Baby Kong but K. Rool insists on keeping the kid to raise him as his heir. Meanwhile, he and his cronies mess around, tell tales to get the baby to sleep, and DK thinks of another plan. DK's plan is to switch Baby Kong with another baby... Diddy in baby clothes. Donkey Kong pulls the ol' switcharoo (the writers like this cliche it seems) and puts Diddy in Baby Kong's place. DK and Diddy now leave with the infant, leaving everyone in the cave sad.

Why does this joss my views?

Baby Krusha, anyone? Bet you heard that story before... K. Rool doesn't act like he'd ever seen a baby before. MY THEORIES, MY LOVE! Ahem. And let's not mention Klump. While he suddenly mentions being able to put a nappy on er... Baby Kong that's actually Diddy, can't blame Diddy for yelling and wanting to GET OUTTA HERE (let's not mention that in-show with everyone adult disregarding Baby Kong) he too acts completely oblivious to the fact there's a baby in the hideout. "KOOCHIE-KOOCHIE-KOO." indeed, General.

And in one of his tales he mentions a hot day in July that was so hot he could saute seaweed on his tail... AND how he met K. Rool that day. I pictured it more a dreary November and that the King took him in mostly out of pity, but eh... never mind that

Subject 3; Watch the Skies

Unrelated image is unrelated. Sorry.

Rumours about alien zombies on the isle arise and the Kong family (just DK and Diddy though) gets sent into a tizzy. Later on, DK discovers that the Kongs' weird acting has just to do with them planning a surprise party for Diddy's birthday. Meanwhile, the UFO they presumably saw was just another one of K. Rool's plans... eventually he persuades Diddy into getting him the crystal coconut. But he fails and DK takes it back... and Krusha barfs all over Klump's clean uniform.

Why does this joss my views?

It doesn't, really. Huh.

The end?

It's quite a shame - now I've got nothing to search for anymore. But oh well, it was fun while it lasted. I have ordered two Dutch videos of this show and will decide if the Dutch voices are as awesome as the English ones. But after that, there's nothing left for me to search for apart for collectible figurines and plushes that are insanely expensive...

Thank you kindly for this awesome show, Nelvana!

When Vangelis met DK (part 1)

Donkey Kong Country 2: Diddy's Kong Quest's musical piece In a Snow-Bound Land has been one of my most favourite tracks in the game for a long time. But I searched it up on YouTube, and what did some people say?
"Rip-off of Vangelis's Antarctica!"

I, being naturally curious, went to search for this Vangelis dude and his music. Finding the piece they were referring to, I discovered something.
It almost sounded exactly like the DKC track. Listening to more musical pieces by this man, I became a fan of the atmospheric tunes he had created. Some of it just sounds so unmistakably Donkey Kong-esque! And mr. Vangelis, and David Wise, too if you happen to be reading this... that's a good thing.

But really, it just can't be a coincidence!

The things that differ from the show and games and WHY

First off, I kinda lost track. Sorry about that. I found out about Tumblr and I have been posting there more often than here. Sincerely sorry. Find me here; click! I will always use this blog for my long-winded ramblings, do not worry!

You won't believe how many times I hear people yelling; "The show sucks! It's nothing like the games!" And that makes me a little sad, to be honest. Nelvana still did their best and I can see how much attention to detail they paid. The DKC TV show, while by no means perfect, is still enjoyable and the few things that were changed, were changed with reason.

1. K. Rool's cape and tail

In the show, the King himself lacks a tail and has an extremely short cape that bears resemblance to a tiny napkin.

Why is this?

As you can see with Klump here, his tail's as stiff as a plank. This was because back then, it was virtually impossible to animate tails, apparently. Because Klump doesn't lay down very often, it's not that bad. But K. Rool jumps and scurries all over the place, and all his expressive mannerisms and movements would certainly clash with a un-moving tail. For this same reason, Diddy Kong didn't have a moving tail until season 2. Why didn't the others get moving tails too, I hears ya ask? Monkey tails are much easier to animate than fat crocodile tails.

As for his cape, it was impossible to animate flowing cloth or hair back in 1998. That's why it's so crazily short, too.

Oh my! Sound effects!

Alright, I had to share this. My dad is watching this movie The Spiderwick Chronicles on the television, and I'm sitting here on my living room-PC listening to Vangelis and drawing stuff that will probably never see the light of day. But what do I hear coming from the television? I hear the first part of the roar of Dogadon, the fearsome dragon-fly boss from Donkey Kong 64's Angry Aztec! You know, that "Eeeeehhr-ROOOARGHGH!"... without the latter part. Apparently, his roar was either a stock sound effect, or it was merely stolen.

...just had to share this. And here's a nice drawing of a stylized African sunset I doodled up a while ago.

Take a look at Death

...And no, not at Gregg. Only if you feel like getting cussed at.

Have we ever realized how many characters die in Rare's games? Not just "game over", but just plain die, never to return, with sometimes irreversible results? Few games have the guts to actually show it, but like usual, there's always exceptions.

Conker's Bad Fur Day
Characters die by the dozen here, but we never really care, do we? Well, I know I didn't. When Conker died, he got confronted with a pint-sized Grim Reaper called Gregg who possessed a colourful vocabulary, who claimed Conker's got as many lives as he thought he'd get away with, to which the squirrel usually ended up unharmed.

Death wasn't really taken seriously in this game. I just laughed at those poor Uga Buga cavemen who were to be devoured by some deranged Yoshi-clone with sharp teeth. But near the end, I couldn't help but weep. Why? Berri, of course. Conker's girlfriend, ruthlessly killed by a mob boss's gun. As she lay on the ground, Conker tried to wake her up, but it was too late.

Later on, the airlock opened (they were in space or something) and she got sucked out into the endless abyss of space. So to this day her lifeless body is floating around in space. I wonder how Mario will react if he sees her on his space adventures like in Super Mario Galaxy.

On animated movies + bonus short fan fic!

Alright, I am sorry for posting an off-topic post. This is just the only place I could post it without bounds... And if I offended anyone, my sincerest apologies.

I have watched animated films all my life, as some of you have probably heard before. Same for that, I have watched all of Pixar's films and enjoyed them all, some more than others. However, Pixar has been disappointing me lately... much like a certain game studio. Rare decides to make sports' games, and Pixar makes a sequel to one of their least imaginative films, Cars. However, Pixar will release a new movie with new characters after that (that includes amazing scenery, which I like being a forest fetishist) whereas Rare proclaims to not disappoint their old fans but having said nothing about Banjo nor Conker.

But what is it now? I think I may end up liking Dreamworks better.

Dreamworks animation studios has long been known for negating Disney's clichés and themes and happily avert fairy tail-like tales. (Did I say fairy tail? I meant fairy tale, of course.) All of this with a good helping of pop-culture references and gross-out jokes. And let's not forget their massive case of sequelitis, with the worst offender being Shrek who currently has four movies on his name with a spin-off in the works! Their first computer-animated film, Antz, did not really know which audience it wanted to appeal to, having been marketed as family enjoyment, but containing mature themes such as decapitated ants and the word damn. It's 'this Kong's one hell of a guy!' all over again! Well... and the decapitated head part I guess Conker and the zombies? Oh well. Apart from that, they appeared to be more in it for the money, pumping out sequels just for the funsies.

Species and stuff

Have you ever wondered what species the animals in Donkey Kong Country were? Wonder no more!

1) Squawks.

Squawks looks like a parrot, acts like a parrot, and moves like a parrot. Yet, his species is more closely related to the common breegull than the parrot. Because the species began to move and act like a parrot, it became a parrot. Looks-like, at least. It's comparable to the way how marsupials look a lot like other mammals because they share the same lifestyle. Tasmanian Devil=Wolverine, Thylacine=Wolf, you get the point. But why is Squawks's species closely related to the Breegulls? The answer lies in its odd way of protecting itself - spitting eggs. Females have insanely quick-working ovaries and screwed-up innards, which means that they can use their unfertilized eggs as projectiles. Quite glaringly similar to a Breegull.

It's more than that, though. Detailed studies revealed oddly similar wing-shapes.

The two species share a similar skeletal structures as well, but this is not able to be seen with the naked eye. That's where the similarity ends, though.

Little things that'll blow your mind

There's just so much behind the DKC games, some more obvious than others. I'll share the less obvious ones here in a fresh, new blog post. Easter eggs and such at no extra cost included.

1. The Theme Song

Honestly, when I heard this myself, my jaw dropped. It's still on the floor as we speak. Sure, Cranky standing on some girders was enough to see that he was actually the original Donkey Kong, but I never quite realized that the original arcade game had exactly that theme he was playing on his old record.

Unbelievable. It's odd when you realize Rare borrowed more from the source material (which is arcade DK) than Retro did (which happens to be DKC)

Power source? What power source?

As most of you may know, and if you don't, shame on you, the Donkey Kong games mostly take place in deep, dense jungles. Jungles on an island, just near a few other islands. Donkey Kong and Diddy Kong regularly watch television and/or play video games and/or listen to the radio, while King K. Rool and his henchmen may occasionally sit down in front of a computer to annoy people on Facebook.

Well, except not really. (this image is purely fictional, I made it myself.)

Not really internet, though. K. Rool does own a snazzy PC thingy that he uses to play games with, among some more stuff. However, what has been bothering me - where did they get the power from, to use electrical appliances?

I have been paying a little bit more attention to Physics at my school, and we're at the chapter electricity and power now. Power is what one needs to have working electrical appliances. Power usually comes from power stations. Power stations most often are ginormous, take up a lot of space, and produce electricity for others to use, to, say, watch TV. However, there are no power stations in sight anywhere on DK Isle, nor Crocodile Isle. Well, used to be for the latter, at least, as it sunk... But alas. No power stations at all! There might be some at Showdown Town, but that's quite a swim from DK Isle.

So how in the world is DK able to watch television?

On the Origin of Kremlings

As a Donkey Kong Country fan, I've always been intrigued by the Kremlings. As a little kid who just got a Super Nintendo Entertainment System, I found myself loving the villainous crocodiles more than the monkeys I played as, my fondness for dinosaurs and reptiles probably to blame. And then Donkey Kong 64 and the TV show came along and the fondness only grew. I vaguely remember that as a little kid, during various games at school with my classmates, I used to pretend I was a Kremling. I bet none of them would know what I was talking about... well, they didn't, even if I had someone be that poor Kritter who was dangling off one of the Blast-O-Matic's constructions, yelling "Help! Help!" repeatedly. Heh.... moving on, in the last decade, it had been a rather bleak time for a DK fan such as me, for there were very little games released, apart from a few ports and games that would've suited better as platformers. However, where Nintendo threw out the whole original cast sans DK himself, the Japanese company Paon paid much more respect for the franchise and its characters. In one of their outings, Donkey Kong Barrel Blast/Jet Race, they brought back the whole DK crew, save for Chunky, Kiddy, and Swanky. (And Bluster as well, but he's a jerk and not canon to the games.) Even the not-usually remembered Lanky. In the Kremling roster, some new characters appeared, but even then, they brought back some old characters.

While I do applaud the fact they included a Kopter (a rather unfamiliar Kritter grunt from Donkey Kong Country 3: Dixie Kong's Double Trouble!) and even Klump as a single character as opposed to a mere mook to the roster, I still weep for the fact that Krusha was nowhere to be found... and yet again, another big, bulky Kremling took his place.

As of now I'll be calling Krunchas Little Red Ragin' Hood.

However, I don't really mind now, as in Returns, there's no Kremlings in sight at ALL. However, in Jet Race/Barrel Blast, the new characters look pretty awesome and it's the first time ever that female Kremlings actually appeared in the game.

However, I'm going terribly off-topic. Allow me to ramble and pretend I'm a biologist or something. This doesn't concern Klaptraps, though. More about them later.

Where is the LOVE?

Love is a word with a lot of different meanings. Alas, that should be known - but nowadays, most people seem to think it's just a synonym for wanting to screw each other. For shame! As it should be noted, I am a sucker for romance... and let's say most Rare games have a lot of it. However, let's start with the usual.... lovey-dovey romance stuff.

Alright, first things first, we'll start with Conker. Conker and Berri are officially and canonically boyfriend and girlfriend. However, we never really saw 'em actually being kind to each other.... save for a throwaway line by Conker that was mostly to get himself out of a jam. However, they make an unlikely couple for sure. I mean, Conker is a normal red squirrel, and Berri is a chipmunk with dyed fur. And she's about thrice as tall as her boyfriend. I don't wanna know how those two.... ahem, have their business. Considering the game is rated M however, it's rather strange they didn't do so... I mean, really.

Alas, moving on! Let's go to the DK crew. As early as the first Donkey Kong Country, a girl by the name of Candy Kong was called DK's love interest. However, apart from the cartoons they didn't acknowledge each other as an item. And as today I still think that Candy takes more of a liking towards Funky as opposed to DK. However, in Donkey Kong Country 2: Diddy's Kong Quest we got introduced to Dixie Kong, Diddy's supposed girlfriend. They didn't really act very lovey-dovey either, but the love somehow was there. Mostly in fan-art, though..

Banjo-Kazooie wasn't about rescuing the main character's girlfriend... instead, his sister. Some people may argue that Banjo and Kazooie love each other in a romantic way, but I still don't know if it's platonic or romantic.

And as for Fox and Krystal... Welp, I haven't really got far enough in Star Fox Adventures... still haven't! So I don't know how they feel about each other. However, I somehow picture them having an Avatar-like relationship with each other later on, what with Krystal living on Dinosaur Planet, teehee.

And now for something completely different - platonic friendships! I'll be discussing Donkey Kong Country Returns' ending as well, so beware of spoilers!

Lakes, forests, and more lakes

One thing I find interesting about the Donkey Kong Country games, is how some levels, places, and characters really seem to derive from something else in real life. Some obvious, some not so much, some intentional, but all of it really makes me like the games even more.

Say, since Donkey Kong Country 3: Dixie Kong's Double Trouble!'s overworld, the Northern Kremisphere, was based on Europe, I saw a some similarities on my holiday to France.

Lake Orangatanga - Lac de Ste Croix

A few years ago I went on holiday to Bauduen, France with my parents and some friends. Near us was a lake named Lac de Ste Croix. In person it really bears a lot of resemblance to the lake levels of Donkey Kong Country 3. Well, a lot is an understatement - it is nearly identical, save for the lack of boardwalks. I almost expected running into some Kremlings there.... None of that however - instead I, random as it may seem, ran into one of my classmates. Heh!

My apologies for this short post. I will post more like these similarities once I see some.

Krusha - Just Plain Stupid or Secretly Evil Genius?

So, let's talk about the TV show... again. And let's talk about Krusha.

He's basically a Dumb Muscle taken To The Extreme, and, for some reason, one of my favorite characters. (In fact, I like him enough to have named my Pokémon Feraligatr after him in my Soul Silver game. Heh!) He works for King K. Rool, but I think he'd happily go over to the good side if K. Rool wasn't there. He's the kind of bad guy that's bad at being bad and has the demeanor of a five-year-old. While I never quite get how characters like that manage to have so many muscles, I have been thinking - is he really that stupid? Or is all a ploy to drive his king and possibly General Klump too, insane?

Alright, I'm gonna go offtopic for a minute, please excuse me. Even though it is somewhat relevant. Say, I am a regular reader of Jeff Smith's Bone graphic novels. In it is a character called Smiley Bone. He acts like a total goof, especially in the earlier issues, but later on, he actually shows some brains, and apparently, his stupid behavior earlier on was just to annoy his cousins and get them to squabble. Not to mention Fone Bone took Smiley along with him for the sole reason to annoy Phoney Bone. Yes. Smiley Bone just PRETENDS he's stupid, only for the sake of annoying his friends.

So, with that... what if Krusha is like that too?

I mean, just look at him. Look at that guy.

Meh, should've drawn him more... shall we say, more like he actually is?

Klump: *overhearing Donkey Kong practising proposals* "Did you hear that? Will you marry me!"
Krusha: "Me?"
Klump: "No, ya nincompoop! Donkey Kong!"
Krusha: "You wanna marry Donkey Kong?"
Klump: ... :|


*later at K. Rool's*


K. Rool: "So, who did you say was gonna get married?"
Krusha: "Me and Klump."
Klump: "Never mind him, sir..."


--from the episode "Two Weddings and a funeral Coconut


The seriousness of this exchange depends on your earth. The world of slash fan fiction could be rejoicing as we speak, even though I don't think highly of those two in a romantic relationship. I see 'em more as brothers. But I'm rambling. Moving on...

Apparantly, there is an episode, called Speed, where Krusha gets driven over by a mine cart (ouch, poor dude) and suddenly gets smarter while that happens. While I haven't seen the episode in question because people not uploading it on YouTube and am highly annoyed by that, it does show that he's capable of much more. In Kong for a Day, he has also been shown to be able to perfectly imitate other isle inhabitants' voices. Someone who's capable of doing something like that is most definitely not stupid. Even though in another episode...  From Zero to Hero I believe, through an X-ray it was shown his brain was in his... er-hum. Never mind that. After that happened, the X-ray machine went kaput and Krusha made off with that Crystal Coconut while Cranky wasn't looking. Was it all a ploy? It could've been.

Still doesn't explain his fondness for watching children's shows, though.

Alas, I am possibly all wrong and the only instance of a smart Krusha is Krusha who has been driven over by a mine cart in an episode I have never seen, nor possibly will ever see. Too bad! I do, however, think that he could even stand up against K. Rool when he has enough of that overlord's evil, long-winded speeches if he wants to... One of these days, he'll snap. One "lunkhead" and "despicable non-person" too many and the king is dead. I mean.. You wouldn't want to mess with someone like Krusha. I mean, he's almost twice the size of his king. That's why K. Rool works alone these days - he's frightened by the fact that he believes his loyal henchmen were rebelling against him. That does however conflict with my fanon-ridden back-story for them. I'll tell more about that whenever. I promise.

I guess it depends on if you like the character and if you like thinking it through too much like me. However, I'll still see the guy as a somewhat dimwitted dude... even though he's the coolest. I mean, someone who can call a Kong-Fu Master a "girly ape" is just too awesome.

Say, 'til next update, see ya, Banana Slamma and all that jazz. I'm off on my never-ending quest to find the missing episodes. For now, I bid you adieu.

Where I jump around and rant like a loony

Truth to be told, I adore the DKC TV show possibly more than I adore most other stuff on TV. Skin me alive, kick me out, give me a silly nickname, call me a backstabbing murderer, throw me to the Klaptraps, etc, etc, I don't care. I LOVE THAT SILLY SHOW.

Why yes, Krusha, stealing is, in fact, bad. Too bad you're a bad guy yourself, eh?

But the sad part is, there's some episodes I'm really curious about yet cannot find them anywhere. The episodes I'm looking for are Speed, To the Moon Baboon, Watch the Skies, Baby Kong Blues and Message in a Bottle Show. But the sad part is, I can't find them anywhere, while Mario Wiki even nags me with providing screenshots and plot synopsis's. It irks me to no end, because that show is so darned fun to watch.

See Reaver. See Bluster. See Bluster run. Run, Bluster, run!

Here's the plan - I need help. Help finding those episodes. How can you help? Well... perhaps alert others. I dunno. But only if you feel like it and have got nothing better to do. I don't wanna bother anyone. 'til Then, I'll just draw some stuff. And write fan fiction.

So here goes nothing.

HELP!!!

The king is dead

It was a few days ago, but I feel like I can never live it down.

For Rare has just given most of the permanent art team the boot. This means that we will possibly never see either Conker or Banjo ever again. The thought saddens me deeply. They didn't even get a noble swan song. Nothing. This is a Rare fan's darkest hour since the buyout.

I think this song portrays my sorrow well enough. Yep, we'll never see Kameo again, either. Nor the inhabitants of Timber's Island, or all those other googly-eyed critters that inhabited the various isles in the Rare isles chain.

Except for Diddy Kong.

You see, I see Diddy as the link between Rare and Nintendo, as the link between Donkey Kong Country and Banjo-Kazooie and Conker. Because he was made by Rare, but during the buyout, stayed with Nintendo just because he belonged with DK. If he wasn't affiliated with the ape he'd have gone over to Microsoft. So now, safely under Retro Studios' care, and what with Returns, he's back again and about time too.

But Banjo nor Conker have shown their faces for over a year now.

Goodbye, my friends. May you continue to have adventures beyond the games. Let's all hope that the people who left still have a bit of that Rareware magic in them, and will show the world how much better it could be at their new jobs.

Speaking of art, some fellow Rare-fans have started a new blog - Rarevive. The point is to submit art once in a while, out of pure love for the franchises Rare had created. I know I will contribute some as soon as I find out how.

Good luck, guys. Donkey Kong and Diddy Kong, thank you for defining the beauty of experiences in platform games. Banjo and Kazooie, thank you for all those memories of romping through Spiral Mountain. Conker, thank you for being the first M-rated game I could play without feeling bad about it. Viva Piñata, thanks for all the colorful experiences in my garden. Kameo, thank you for showing me the beauty of the Enchanted Kingdom. Fox and Krystal, thank you for introducing me to the Star Fox saga and the wonder that is Sauria in the most brilliant ways possible.

Thank you, Rare. Thank you.

Diddy through the ages

Like with all videogames, most of the cast from Donkey Kong Country have had different looks before. While this isn't as obvious as with DK himself, he only underwent one drastic change (actually none at all if you take into consideration that the DK from the arcade is actually the modern-day Cranky) and a change of fur color. He always kept his tie, too.

Most design changes are so subtle that only a true nerd, a nerd to end all nerds would notice it. Say, for example, you guys probably know that I have a rather peculiar fangirl-obsession towards Diddy Kong, right?

Well, he's changed quite a bit in the last fifteen years. From his debut in Donkey Kong Country, to Donkey Kong Country Returns. He kept his trademark red cap and shirt all his life, but to be honest, I think I prefer his design post-buyout. *dodges rotten tomatoes getting thrown at me* Something about how he gets portrayed by Rare outside the games in promotional renders looks... iffy. He's supposed to be a cute little monkey, folks! Cute does not equal loads and loads of details and stuff!

And all that while he looks adorable in-game.

D'aww he's looking at us guys

Yeah, I don't really know about this. I am nitpicky, I know. He's still cute, though. And the renders are actually very well-done still, despite my nitpicking. Speaking of well-done renders...

Donkey Kong Country - The Wind Waker? I like cel-shadedness.

Donkey Konga may or may not be a well-remembered game, you gotta hand the makers that they made some cool promotional artwork. Let it be said that that's probably the only time I'm ever mentioning the game here.

Dinosaur Planet's do's and didn'ts

I know most of you don't like fanon, preferring reality with facts over mere theories. But sometimes I have an idea, and that idea is just too perfect to not be canon. So it's fanon instead, and I use my fanon in each fan fiction I write. Do you follow me? What has this to do with fanon... well, you guys do remember Dinosaur Planet?

You know, I quite like this artwork. Why didn't Rare make more of it?

Of course you do! Not to be confused with a Discovery Channel series with a similar name, that epic adventure game with those... cat/fox dudes as protagonists, who were on a journey to find a wizard dude who also was their poppa [citation needed], and at the same time battle evil dinosaurs led by the even eviller General Scales... what do you mean, never heard of it? That may just be because it got changed into Star Fox Adventures late in development. I never witnessed this happening as I was much too young but... The character of Krystal got a drastic makeover while the character of Sabre just disappeared and got replaced by the similar-looking Fox McCloud. Poof. Zap. Zlitch. And gone.

My ultimate top fifteen of DKC music

I figured I'd post one of these since every cool kid does so nowadays. Donkey Kong Country has, in my mind, always stuck out as one of the games of which the soundtrack really enhances the experience. There is something about those beautiful, heartfelt tracks that strike my heart.
I'll be discussing Donkey Kong Country, Donkey Kong Country 2: Diddy's Kong Quest, Donkey Kong Country 3: Dixie Kong's Double Trouble!, Donkey Kong 64, and Donkey Kong Country Returns (not counting remixes.). Other Rare soundtracks will be discussed later on. For anyone that hasn't played Returns yet, this post will contain spoilers!

15. Northern Hemispheres (DKC)

What appears to be an extremely minimalistic track, it builds its suspense up the farther it goes - and it does so with style. It really fits the barren, snowed-in wastelands of Gorilla Glacier, capturing the wintry feel of icy mountains without sounding overly cheerful. And you have to play the game to believe this, but the snow falling down is an amazing effect that really adds to the experience. This track made its triumphant return in Donkey Kong Country Returns. Even though the snow has seemingly melted away, the track also seems to work perfectly for barren mountainsides.

14. Donkey Kong Rescued (DKC2)

Ah, the credits theme! Should be remembered by anyone who triumphed over the game before. This amazing track is really powerful yet bittersweet, and really tells you that you've brought an amazing journey to an end. It begins with a characteristic squeaking of which I'm not sure what it's from, to some awesome percussion and a simply breathtaking trumpet solo, and ending it with the most awesome electric guitar... esque instrument I've ever heard. This is one of the many tracks in the series that really makes you believe, or want to believe, that Donkey Kong, Diddy Kong, Dixie Kong and all those other characters are real.

Comic 3 - Kids will be kids

Meh, more of a cop out than anything. I didn't have any good ideas.

But Diddy and Dixie are cute, right?

King K. Rool and bananas, oh my!

As all of you fellow DKC-addicts may know, the first game was basically about Donkey Kong trying to retrieve his famed banana hoard from a thieving King K. Rool. Why did he steal the bananas, is what has been bothering me lately, and why does he suddenly hate them by the time I played DK: Jungle Climber? Well, about the stealing, Rare themselves claim that it was either because he likes bananas, or that he wanted to starve DK so he could occupy his treehouse.

That's one sorry reason if I ever saw one. It would work for the DKCTV's version of the King, given his bumbling behavior in that, but in the games, I don't know. There just has to be some reason behind it.

So, having played Donkey Kong Country Returns (spoilers will follow)...

Yeah, I know you're not in the game. Shut up.

Like I said, having played Donkey Kong Country Returns, the ape's hoard of prized bananas doesn't get stolen by King K. Rool this time, but by a bunch of thieving, sentient instruments known as the Tiki Tak Tribe. These dudes hypnotize DK Isle's wildlife, to which the critters take off with the bananas. Diddy flips and gives chase, and DK fails to get hypnotized because he's either too smart or too dumb. I'll take either explanation, to be honest.

Weekly comic: 2 - filler doodles

Terribly sorry, I forgot to think up, scan, no less draw, a comic this week. So here's a DK-doodle-page. Yeah. I like Diddy and Dixie, if you didn't know that by now. Still can't draw them though and that infuriates me.

Weekly comic: DK64+DKCTV=???

Yeah, I never quite got why the Crystal Coconut went from a Holy Grail to a collectable item.

Fan fiction - Return to Crocodile Island

Return to Crocodile Isle, is, to those who don't watch me on DeviantART - a tale I wrote about Diddy Kong and Dixie Kong who journey to the resurrected Crocodile Island to take down K. Rool who kidnapped DK... again. I finished it yesterday when my internet was down... yeah. I did have a good excuse to rant on fan fiction clichés through Cranky, though.

‘What’s that? Oh, leave me alone. I’m old, I need my rest. How did your silly little fan story-quest go, anyway? I wouldn’t like to be seen dead in a story that has fan characters and fellow apes being out-of-character, but whatever...’


Diddy and Dixie, on their way, meet strange enemies and make unusual allies, one in the form of Reaver, a female Harpy eagle that works for K. Rool but is rebelling against him.

Mind you, I don't usually create fan characters, but this idea was too good to pass up.

She began life as a throwaway Animal Buddy idea after I read about how Harpies could lift monkeys, so she'd made a nice equivalent for Squawks, which I presumed has gotten older since his first game. But eventually I grew on her premise and design, so she was mostly the reason I wrote this story. One of the others reasons were zombie pirate Kremlings.

Some early sketches of the zombies. They're pretty creepy... but remove the boney parts and give 'em pupils and they're funny.

Where I rant

Well, yeah. I rant a lot, as it should be known. But first, some horribly misplaced praise.

So, a few days ago, I was merrily looking across YouTube to see if I could find some stuff which I liked... it has to be said I found a few amusing YouTube Poops of the Donkey Kong Country cartoon. While these parodies were mildly amusing, I decided looking up the source material for a change.

Here's a link to the intro. Can somebody tell me how do I shot web embed videos in my blogs?

Boy, I would never have thought that I'd enjoy such silly, primitive CGI. Me, an animation connoisseur - actually watched this series that many people deemed bad? Oh my goodness! Well, it was not as bad as the DKvine made me believe. Sure, the animation was primitive - prehistoric, even, I believe it was made a few years after Toy Story - the first completely computer-rendered feature film - but it worked well enough. Visual gags abounded - most in the form of DK's wildly random expressions. Even the highly unnerving musical numbers each episode didn't put me off, and strangely enough, I enjoyed the voices.
Hey, if it got Diddy and Dixie making out*, it can't possibly be bad now, can it?

Even though Diddy looks like a duck at times, he's coolio. Rather than being a stuck-up braggart like in Diddy's Kong Quest, he's a Bratty Half-Pint and also The Lancer. (that's me quoting TV tropes) Not to mention his voice is actually fitting? This is madness! Oh and he calls Dixie 'my girl' once. Pfffhaha, that made me both crack up and melt down in a puddle of fangirlness. (yeah, I'm a big time shipper of those two together, okay?) I've officially considered him to be my favourite character in the TV series. Yeah, Dixie is in it too, even though her design is more reminiscent of Tiny's. And she's more of a girly-girl than anything, and often loses her pets. Such as a crab named Crappy Crabby. How... somewhat bothersome... Oh well, at least she's in anyway!

DK himself... well, I've seen better renditions of him over at DeviantART, but it's not too bad. Candy, er... don't know what to say about her. Why couldn't they have just kept her a girly girl and have Dixie be the tomboy, hmmm? Still, not very bothersome. Even the character of Bluster whose only appearance so far is in the series, I could tolerate - his constant whining about his mother is funny. Funky could be better. Cranky is exactly like in the games. His voice is just perfect. Some of the other show-only characters like Polly Roger, Captain Scurvy and his gang, and InkaDinka Doo, I could live without, though. But still, those faces that the Kongs pull make me laugh out loud... louder than I'm supposed to.

Derp herp a derp.

But in my opinion, the one that steals the show is King K. Rool. (Koning Wreed for you Dutch peops)

Can it has be crystal coconutz tiem now plz?

'WHYYY NOOOOOOOT!'

it's one of the most popular sayings of him - I do believe it even became a meme. He yelled it out in the episode Bug a Boogie (which I have not seen yet, bear with me). I do believe it explains his personality perfectly. He's quite a large ham (there I go quoting TV tropes again), what with his constant monologues about wanting to steal the Crystal Coconut, the series' MacGuffin. (I am so sorry. TV tropes will ruin your life. It's true.) Even though he, for some reason, lacks a tail, and his cape has been replaced by something that looks akin to a towel. That was probably because back then it was really hard to animate fluttering capes, so yeah...

His two henchmen, Klump and Krusha, are two delightfully silly bad guys that are quite humorous at all times. So this trio of bad guys? They're a bunch of simpletons compared to their alter-egos in the games... but that makes them all the funnier. I even saw the episode Kong for a Day, where Krusha imitated DK's voice... that was both hilarious and disturbing, because it led Dixie to believe that DK was wanting to make out with her. Eeeew... not to mention everyone flipped unjustly towards DK. In the end all was well, though! Yay happy ending!

The name's Bond... Klump Bond. Dude, what?

The only resemblance to the games the series had is, sad as it may seem, the characters, bananas, and more bananas. Some level themes too, like snow, forests, mine carts, etc. Small references to some characters' game behavior has been hidden in though, much to my pleasure - for example, a pissed off Diddy Kong throws a bitchfest by throwing his hat on the floor and stamping on it. Where did I see that before again...?

All in all, it's definitely not the best thing ever... but it's so enjoyable to watch! If you can see past the rather poor animation (back then it was marvelous, lemme tell ya) and the sometimes VERY annoying musical numbers (between you and me - Diddy cannot sing... But! He! Can! Dance~!), the dialogue, the surprisingly good voice acting, and more randomness totally makes up for it.

Oh, and for the ranting: I get really pissed whenever I look around on eBay and see people addressing Diddy as 'Baby Donkey Kong' and 'Donkey Kong Junior'.

Okay? Okay. Alas, I'm off, gonna see Bug a Boogie. Lol Bananaphone. See ya!

* note: 'making out', my foot. All that happened from what I've seen is Diddy trying to kiss her. Only to be interrupted by Cranky. Or rather, a vision of the old fop. So yeah. No DiddyxDixie for me. Baaaw.

In the future

We all know and love DK, Conker, Banjo, etc, etc... but I've been thinking lately - how would they look and act like ten years from now? Conker as a family-guy in a midlife crisis, Diddy and Dixie happily engaged, Banjo and Kazooie having kids - wait, let's not go there.

Considering what Conker did to Bloopy, the young raptor that he had hatched back in Bad Fur Day - the poor fella even called him mommy... and if my ears don't deceive me, I do believe he said something that sounded like 'Luigi' too. It's mama Luigi all over again... 'cept with Conker.. but anyway, so I can't see him as a mom. Er, dad. And Berri spends most of her days jumping around listening to music and being a porn star. Can't see her as a suitable mother either.

Conker would be such a bad poppa. (not to mention his and Berri's child would look freakish.)

Like I said, Conker and Berri would be two bad parents if I ever saw them. But for some reason or another, them somehow getting a kid is likely. Well, you know Conker likes getting drunk, right? And he's a king, right? So, one faithful night, he was drunk, forgot using protection while he and Berri were, ahem, having fun (let's pretend he brought her back after a talk with Gregg after Bad Fur Day), thus he knocked Berri up, if you catch my drift. She doesn't believe in abortion, and a chipmunksquirrelkid is born. Poor kid would never know it was an accident. Likewise, it's the heir to the throne, and the red squirrel bloodline is kept up. Moving on...