Why I love Conker's Bad Fur Day

(I was gonna do this as a video, narrating it, as a subtle jab to another video I don't even deem worthy of watching -- but my dumb deep Dutch vocal chords don't allow me to do anything without sounding like a complete moron. Boo hiss.)

Conker's Bad Fur Day was my most favourite thing three years ago. The game was so dear to me because it was made by Rare - I'm betting that if Rare had no involvement, I never would've picked up the game in the first place.

Truth to be told, violent and/or questionable things couldn't interest me less at the time. I got into some anime about dogs killing each other... because it was about dogs. Similarly, I got into Conker because he wasn't some buff, muscular, middle-aged guy, but instead, a cute little squirrel.

Well, really, that's the catch; he looks cute and fuzzy, but in reality, he's got a severe drinking problem and ends up depressed.

The Donkey Kong theory

Sure, another theory. Except this one is one of my favourites.

So anyway. We all know the amazing Donkey Kong Country games and the... less-than-amazing Donkey Kong Country animated series. I loved the TV show a while back, around three or four years ago. But now, I'm re-watching it in amusing annotated form and now that I look back at it, I find it being less than impressive. Not because of the differences from the game, but rather because the characters sometimes get on my nerves. But this is not about that. This is about the theory that I imaginatively call 'The Donkey Kong Theory'.

The theory itself is as follows; The Donkey Kong Country TV show is a prequel to the games.

Why would I have such a bone-headed idea? Cranky would probably call me a big baboon (he calls everyone a big baboon) and I wouldn't blame him. Some things would make sense, though. For example, take Cranky, only because he's playable in Tropical Freeze (which is great) and also because he'll call me a big baboon if I don't tell about him first (which is not great.)

 

Honestly, Cranky's show design is quite faithful to his original design. The only thing that differs is his beard, which is shorter in the cartoon. Of course this is because back then, emulating hair with CGI was considered the most impossible thing that ever was impossible, but from a theory viewpoint, it would make sense -- it didn't have the time to grow to the length it is currently! As for his tendency to break the fourth wall in the games, we'll get to that later.

More Tropical Freeze rambling

Donkey Kong Country; Tropical Freeze is, undoubtedly, the biggest, most exciting Donkey Kong release since the game that came before it. Not only is it a sequel to Donkey Kong Country Returns, a game that baffled everyone upon release for the sheer unbelievability that Donkey Kong was having another game where he is the star as opposed to having a silly little side-role as a toothy-grinned maniac, it fixes everything the previous game did wrong -- ahem, didn't do.

For one, there's the return of Dixie Kong as a playable character alongside Diddy, after she hadn't been up and at it in a main game for over ten years -- not counting ports. There's also Cranky, who, against all odds, teams up with the young 'uns to finally do some platforming himself. While thinking of his boasts in the original game as being ironic was part of the fun of his character, it is amazing to finally see him prove himself. The bad guys, the Snowmads, are characteristic Viking-themed animals that have a lot more charm than the Tiki Tak Tribe could ever think of having. And of course, David Wise returns, and this time, he's in charge of the entire soundtrack -- much like he did in Donkey Kong Country 2: Diddy's Kong Quest. I have heard bits of pieces of the new soundtrack and it brought tears to my eyes. It's so wonderful and perfect.

Also, the savanna level?

I called it. I freakin' called it.

Assorted over-analyzations of the piñata kind (AKA headcanons)

Whoa, it's been ages since I've been here. This blog is my personal ranting space, as long as it's relevant to Donkey Kong or the surrounding games somehow. Where have I been? To the distant and the dangerous, thinking that I am a pathetic fool. Also, watching a lot of Viva Piñata, whining about the fact that I'm broke and there's so many cool things I want to buy, and chatting with my friends.
Oh, and wallowing in self-pity for some reason. Also drawing things and working on stuff I'm actually supposed to be working on, like homework. And my original story, which I'm certain I'm gonna publish someday. I hope, at least. As well as--... nah, that's a story for another time!

Well then, I have obviously neglected this blog for too long and will now attempt to make up for it by sharing some more of my far-fetched headcanons and theories that border on the weird and the whimsical and happen to concern Viva Piñata some way or another. When this is published, though, I have found out that my frantic obsessing over piñatas has quieted down a little. So this is probably the last post in a loooong while. Bear with me.

1. The Big Boss and LOG are one and the same.

Also pictured; Langston Lickatoad, who is awesome. He also basically makes both the Viva Piñata show and the games canon.

This might need some clarification, since both characters are rather recent.

Donkey Kong is on the go, and brought some friends along!

I don't have much to say about this other than the fact it's the best thing I've seen all day, all week. A sharp contrast to a disappointing recent episode of my favourite modern cartoon.

Things that I found interesting and awesome to note;

• DIXIE KONG! She actually returns and is playable, for the first time in about five years.
• DK Isle appears to be overrun with Vikings based on arctic animals. Vikings are technically pirates, so maybe they are indeed kind of going for a theme similar to Donkey Kong Country 2: Diddy's Kong Quest? (This could also mean K. Rool might appear as well!)
• The gorgeous graphics. Seriously, the graphics. I affectionately called Donkey Kong Country Returns 'Scenery Porn; The Game', and I might just as well call this one 'Scenery Porn; The Game; The Sequel'.
• The archetypes. They seem to deriver slightly from the archetypes of the original DKC 2, which is of course a good thing.

The game is called Donkey Kong Country: Tropical Freeze and will appear on the Wii U. ...I suddenly realized I need a Wii U now, more than everything.

Also useful to note - the next installment in the Smash Bros. franchise has finally been announced, and our beloved Donkey Kong has already managed to gather enough popularity to appear on the official site - and on a buttload of Tumblr pages.

I honestly can't really blame anyone.

(Also, I classified the Donkey Kong games in categories in the same vein people classify animated movies. The Silent Age of DK will be used to refer to the Arcade games. The Golden Age of DK will refer to Donkey Kong Country and its sequels, as well as Donkey Kong 64. The Dark Age of DK will refer to what happened to DK post-buyout, while the Renaissance Age of DK refers to Retro's recent and immensely awesome involvement with the big guy. Let's hope it lasts!)

Don't beat 'em, join 'em - about Viva Piñata

Why, yes, I am back. And I say; let's talk about Viva Piñata.

The games are just about the most beautiful thing to ever grace the Xbox 360. And maybe PC and DS too. Quirky, colourful, and creative, it's a sort of simulation game where you basically build a garden which attracts live animal piñatas. If they like your garden enough, they take residence and you can build them houses, name them, even dress them up in cool costumes, romance them so you can get more of the same species, to eventually send them to a party. (These functions were a lot more elaborate in the sequel.) Meanwhile, Professor Pester and his ruffians and sour Piñatas attempt to wreak havoc.

Some of its best points, to me at least, are its colourfulness, and its heavy stylization. It's not meant to be realistic. Instead, everything is vibrant and charmingly cartoony, and adorned with nifty patterns. From the smallest flower to the biggest tree - even the grass. But somehow, it is still believable, something Rare is very good at. They dare to be different, and that's exactly where its charms come from. Aside all this, it has a lot of shout-outs to past Rare games, which is awesome.

And of course, the music. The amazing soundtrack as composed by Grant Kirkhope, who also composed Banjo-Kazooie's and Donkey Kong 64's soundtrack, is both whimsical and atmospheric. I'm not exaggerating when I say it made me cry sometimes simply because it is so beautiful.

I have been mesmerized by this lovely game for years now, ever since I got the original on the PC, and later bought an Xbox 360 and played Viva Piñata: Trouble in Paradise, its sequel. Lately, I've begun picking it up again and I'm having the most fun I've had in quite a while. Trouble in Paradise can be considered as some kind of 'expansion pack', as it has everything from the original game, but more, such as over 20 new Piñata species, more things to do, new regions like the Piñarctic and the Dessert Desert, and a lot of new items. Even if it's a standalone game.

So anyway, beautiful games. But the real reason I picked it up again was because a group of friends of mine I know from role playing on Tumblr were all excited about it, and chatting about it on our Skype group. I remembered I had the game as well and I played it again. But what they were also quite enthusiastic about was the animated series. Yep. I originally dismissed it because I had the dreadful 'hurr hurr, it's not the same as the games so it sucks!' attitude. You know, the same thing people think about the Donkey Kong Country cartoon, which I'm presumably one of the biggest fans of. Now I've lost that attitude, which is for the better.

Anyway, I heard good things about it and decided to check it out - with the open mind to end all open minds.

After having seen only one episode, I was hooked. It was no Donkey Kong Country.

In fact, I daresay I liked it better than Donkey Kong Country.

Random thoughts - Klump's Lumps

Don't waste your time

looking at a sorry sight like me

A quivering pile of mush, that's me

All my years of service and devotion to the King

I'm a quivering, snivelling, non-existent thing

I know I've failed

I know my ship has sailed

Stripped of my rank

I know my ship has sank

And I haven't got a friend in the world...

I'm a quivering, snivelling, blubberin', nameless non-existent pile of nothing, worthless, soggy pile of mush

And I haven't got a friend in the world, no

I haven't got a friend in the world...

This wonderful episode of the Donkey Kong Country TV show stood out to me because it was so emotional and stayed like this 'til the end -- some silly scenes with Krusha and K. Rool aside -- which was pretty unusual for a cartoon like this. I mean, Klump. Dude's job was his life, and then he gets kicked out with nowhere to go. Dixie Kong is the first (and only) Kong who befriends him. Never mind that he's a bad guy. It was this episode that made me love Klump. Precious thing... I cannot fathom how anyone couldn't have at least a bit of sympathy towards him after this episode.


Emotional things in kids' cartoons like this are usually only found in fan fiction these days, and I find this downright saddening.

(Note: if the formatting looks weird, it's because I was going to post it on Tumblr at first. I decided not to. Also, I passed 10000k pageviews. You guys rock, thank you. :) I'm gonna be working on a little tribute image soon! ...And something special. It concerns the cartoon and music. You'll see! ...And sorry for the shortness of this post. More stuff coming soon.

...

Wow. Did I seriously type 10000k? I think I was tired when I wrote this... I obviously meant 10000.)