Little did I know that when I started this blog, that theories and brain blemishes would actually have a name; headcanon. Like canon, except in your head. Allow me to explain: Canon means the creators said so. Example? Canon: DK wears a tie with his initials. Headcanon: he received the tie from Cranky on his 15th birthday. Headcanon is a nice word, too. Rolls off the tongue much better than fantalk, which was derived from the less-than-polite word fanwank. Capiche?
Let's be said that I have a lot of headcanons. A bit... too much, maybe. I don't feel much for rewriting older articles, though. Like Funky Kong once said: "I can barely tell rewrite from rewrong anymore!"
Anyway... let's get to it, shall we? In no order at all. It should be known that most of these are not very serious. Also, I dunno if it's still necessary, but spoilers for Donkey Kong Country Returns!